


What I Want

by eilonwe



Category: Buck tick, Dir en grey, the GazettE
Genre: Bondage, M/M, bj, domestic voilence, some things are beyond normal definitions of sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 22:38:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eilonwe/pseuds/eilonwe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruki is looking for something in his relationships but he has bad luck in finding what he needs. After a particularly brutal scene with his boyfriend he seeks help from the only friend who knows all his dirty secrets and never judges him for them.  When his friend offers him an unexpected solution, will it be the answer to everything he's been looking for in all the wrong places?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. looking for love in all the wrong places

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: I don’t know the celebrities/j-rockers mentioned in this story in any way shape or form. I just admire them greatly for their skill, talent, and beauty. I don’t even have permission to write about them, so hopefully if they if ever read this they won’t get mad at me. This story is not meant to represent them, and none of the events contained within this story actually happened (except for gackt appearing on that tv show… that really happened. ) It’s all fiction anyway. I don’t make any money from this – ANYWHERE- it’s just for fun and entertainment. As far as I know… everyone mentioned is over 18…. 
> 
> *inspired by “what I want” by daughtry. “What I WANT and what I NEED has now become the same things you’ve been offering….”

Ruki winced as he wiped the blood from his lip.  It was likely to swell, and his chin would bruise... Ensuring the photo shoot tomorrow would have to be canceled.   He cursed softly to himself.  He was a famous celebrity after all,  so _why_ did he always seem to attract the worst that could be found in a lover?  He supposed that part of the problem lay in the kind of guy he was attracted to.  Strong, intelligent, takes-no-shit-from-anyone.  In short -  he liked tall-dark-and-dominant.   But what always confused him, was the fact that almost every man he'd ever met who fit those qualifications -- also seemed to like to hurt him.  Like he had some sort of invisible tattoo stamped on his forehead. "Pet whipping boy"

 Sure he liked Dominance, and being a little bossed around, in and out of the bedroom.   But he was no one's "pet".  He owned himself - he'd earned that right.  But his interest in kink and bondage was fairly mild considering.  He liked a little hair pulling, biting,and light bondage. But outside of that he wasn't into pain, and CERTAINLY Wasn't into leaving marks that had to be hidden.  WHY couldn't his lovers ever get that?

His body was sore from the rough sex, and he could have sworn he saw blood on Atsushi’s shaft.  It worried him that there might be real damage that would require an embarrassing trip to the hospital.   His head and jaw throbbed wickedly with each rapidly pounding heartbeat.   He began to get nauseated, and that worried him even more.  For one he didn’t need a concussion and puking would just make the pain in his face and head get worse. 

He knew that in this state he couldn't drive, nor did he want to risk a phone call that might be pirated and sold to the tabloids.   The _only_ thing he could do was wrap a scarf around his aching face and pray he wasn't recognized. He got on the bus and headed toward the back.  He grabbed a seat and tried to hunch down hoping to be ignored, but his ass throbbed and it hurt to sit down.  He shifted in the seat until he was seated on one hip, dreading the 15 minute bumpy bus ride that would take him to his friend’s house. 

There was only one person in his life really that he felt he could turn to.  One person that wouldn’t freak out at his current state. On e person he felt wouldn’t judge him.  Who would help him get the help he needed, clean him up and keep it quiet.  He only prayed that he was home.  Eventually the bus came to his stop and he pulled himself to stand, shocked to find a small puddle of blood had soaked through his stressed jeans onto the seat.  A nauseating pain rolled through his guts as he forced himself to walk toward the exit pretending that he couldn’t feel the warm trickle of blood trail it’s way down his leg like he was pissing himself.  God… he couldn’t remember ever being in this much pain.  He stepped out of the bus and slowly made his way up the block to his friend’s apartment.  He glanced upward once he’d made it to the front entrance, searching for the window that would let him know if he’d be waking his friend up.  A dark window meant he was sleeping (or getting laid), a bright light meant he was home and a small glow meant he was out.  Tonight the window was dark. 

He really hated to wake him up, but he had nowhere else he could go, no else he could trust.  Reluctantly, painfully, he made his way up the stairwell, holding tightly to the railing and trying very hard not to pass out or puke. After what seemed like an eternity and 8,000 fucking stairs he found himself at the correct floor.  His friend’s door was about halfway down the hall, exactly halfway from the elevator and the stairwell. 

When he finally reached the door, his legs gave out from exhaustion and dizziness.  It caused him to hit it hard, making a loud thump before he slid to the floor.  Weakly he knocked on the door, praying, praying that someone was home.

Kyo woke with a start, the sound of a loud bang dragging him from an otherwise pleasant wet-dream.  Cursing he threw the sheet from off his body, thinking to himself that if he was up he might as well take a piss.  On his way to the bathroom, he heard a faint knocking at his door.  Glancing at the clock on his nightstand, he quirked an eyebrow.  _Who the fuck is knocking on my door at 3am?_   Whoever it was, was a stupid mother fucker who was about to have 45 caliber hole in his dumb ass.  Kyo quietly opened his dresser drawer and drew out the gun.  This wasn’t exactly a nice neighborhood and he’d had assert himself to the locals a few times before they learned to leave him the fuck alone. 

He waited until he was just near the door before he cocked the gun.  It made quite a distinctively loud ‘ka-click’ that anyone who had any experience with firearms would recognise and give pause.  “I’ve got a gun motherfucker… what do you want?!”  He called out. 

“Kyo?... Kyo it’s … it’s Ruki.  I... I need help”  He heard the voice, he recognized the voice.  But the voice should have been up near his height.  The voice was not.  It was near the floor.  “Fuck” he cursed softly as he clicked the safety on the gun and set it down on the stand he kept near the doorway for keys and such.  Quickly undoing the locks and chains on the door he yanked it open only have Ruki come tumbling in on his face.  “Shit man… what the hell happened this time?” He muttered, reaching down to help the other vocalist up.

 

“Same shit, maybe worse… different day” Ruki muttered, gagging slightly as the room tried spin when Kyo tried to help him sit up.  He clung to the older man, grateful for his greater strength in spite of their mutual height.  He couldn’t help the cry that escaped his lips when he stood up, every movement of his legs seemed to make the burning in his guts worse.  Kyo helped him up and kicked the door shut.  He half-dragged Ruki down the hall and toward his bedroom.  On nights like this, when Ruki would come to him because his latest conquest had gotten too rough, he usually needed a bath, and first aid, and most of all an non-judgemental ear.  “Lets get you cleaned up then, and assess the damage…” he muttered.

Their friendship always made him shake his head.  It was … weird.  Kyo was very, very, straight... and Ruki was… flaming like a phoenix.  Kyo sang vocals for what amounted to a heavy metal band, and Ruki… sang a cross between visual kei and pop-ballads.  They were polar opposites in just about everything.  Kyo hated Ruki’s friends, and disdained his choice of lovers.  Ruki hated Kyo’s friends and disdained Kyo’s girlfriends.  And yet… and _yet_ … they still seemed to enjoy each other’s company, and the friendly exchange of insults. 

 Somewhere along the line though, Kyo became the one person that Ruki came to rely on when his relationships went south.  Kyo helped the younger man to hide the abuse he let himself be given from his friends and bandmates.  Though everytime he showed up, broken and bleeding on his doorstep it made Kyo see red, and he wanted to make the asshole who had hurt Ruki bleed and scream and beg. Kyo was nothing if not loyal to his friends and inventive with his enemies.  But Ruki was a confused young man.  Kyo thought that Ruki didn’t really understand himself or what he wanted, so he always sought it in the wrong places.  But he didn’t really understand what Ruki wanted for himself either, so he was clueless as to how to help Ruki fix his fucked-up life. 

They made their way, staggering across the bedroom, until Kyo could reach over and flip the light switch to the bathroom.  The apartment might be in a seedy side of town, but Kyo had had it renovated from a 2 bedroom apartment into a 1 bedroom with a master suite bathroom.  Kyo was a man of creature comforts at home, and he needed a large bathroom and bath _tub_ in which to recover from the self-inflicted injuries he often incurred while onstage. 

He gently helped Ruki to sit down, noting how he tilted to one side, and refused to sit properly.  Noted the hiss of pain and the dark stain on his clothes.  A bad feeling in his stomach told him that it probably wasn’t piss. He turned and started running a hot bath, then knelt down in front of his friend, worried because Ruki seemed on the verge of passing out.  It had _never_ been this bad.  He unwrapped the scarf from around Ruki’s neck and cursed at what he saw.  Ruki’s bottom lip was split and likely needed a stitch or two, it was also swollen 3 times it’s normal size.  A darkening bruise and swollen lump graced his jaw and he worried that it might be cracked.  Bruises shaped like fingers laced his throat like a shadow hand gripping him from behind.  “Fuck Ruki…” he muttered.  There was no WAY this was going to be able to be hidden from Ruki’s superiors and bandmates.  Gently he began to undress his friend, seething at every mark that was revealed.  What made it worse this time was that Kyo knew Ruki had been dating a fellow musician, someone who should’ve known better than to mark him like this. 

The perfect imprint of teeth could be seen on Ruki’s side, just below the ribcage, dried blood crusting the wound.  He tried to help Ruki stand so he could help him out of his pants but Ruki slid weakly to the floor instead.  “I… I think I might have to go to the hospital this time… I’m ... bleeding. Left blood on the seat…” He muttered, his eyes fluttering – close to passing out.  He couldn’t even help Kyo remove his pants.  His skin was always pale but it broke out in a cold sweat.  Kyo debated about finishing to undress his friend so he could assess the damage or calling 911.  Ruki definitely didn’t look good.  He almost looked like he was overdosing, but Kyo knew that Ruki didn’t do drugs.  He decided to assess the damage and then call for an ambulance.  He didn’t want Ruki transported to the hospital in blood caked clothes. 

 

He peeled the bloody jeans off of him and cursed at the amount of it.  There had to have been some severe internal damage for there to be that much blood.  He bent one of Ruki’s knees up to take a peek and cursed at what he saw.  Even he could see the large tear in the ring of muscles that made up Ruki’s “entrance”, and it was large enough to need more than a few stitches.  “fuck me… “ he whispered.  He didn’t even want to contemplate what had happened to cause such a tear.  To him it was rape, though Ruki would probably deny it since he was dating the fucker who did it and so Ruki would think anything that happened was ‘consensual’ on his part.  Fuck that – NO ONE - consents to being ripped another asshole. 

He stopped the water and quickly picked Ruki up like a bride.  He knew it was going to sting like a mother, but he gently lowered them both into the water.  As soon as the hot water hit Ruki’s torn rectum he bucked in Kyo’s arms, crying out.  Kyo held him strongly against his chest, restraining any attempts Ruki made to get up.  “Relax, I know it hurts … but we’ve got to get you cleaned up so I can call an ambulance for you.  You  KNOW you don’t want to show up there like this.  Just… let me get the worst of the blood off okay?” 

All at once the struggling ceased and Kyo felt Ruki’s head fall limply to his shoulder.  He had thankfully passed out.  Quickly Kyo shifted the smaller man on his lap and grabbed the shower gel.  He wasn’t sure if the washcloth would be too rough on Ruki’s abused skin, so he used his own hand to wash the blood from Ruki’s thighs and genitals.  Even reaching gently beneath his balls to wash as much as he could of the taint near the rectum without getting soap in the wound.  He smirked against Ruki’s head, thinking how much shit his gay friend would give him for fondling him while he was out cold.  Every other time he’d helped Ruki wash up, he’d left the room, telling him he had to wash his own junk, and Ruki would always whine and say he needed help.

It was an ongoing joke between them.  Ruki was always trying  - half-heartedly – to get Kyo to try doing some gay things with him.  Like a blow-job or a hand-job, but Kyo always refused.  He didn’t want those things from Ruki, and there was no way in hell he was ever going to suck cock.  Finally, Ruki was as clean as he could get him and it disturbed him how bloody the water was.  Climbing out of the tub, he carefully dragged his unconscious friend out of the tub, almost dropping him on his wounded face when he stumbled slipping in some dripped water.

Grabbing a soft fluffy bathrobe from off the back of the bathroom door he wrapped Ruki in it, then ran to his nightstand and grabbed the phone.  Dialing quickly he walked back into the bathroom, ignoring the cold, wet, blood-soaked underwear trying to crawl up into his crack on one side and giving him half a thong.  “Yes, hello?  I need an ambulance right away.  My friend was the victim of… uh… Domestic violence and he’s got a tear to his rectum.  He’s lost a lot of blood and now he’s passed out… um yeah, let me check…”  Kyo knelt down and felt Ruki’s pulse, “It’s um… erratic?  And uh... not really strong and his breathing is kind of shallow and quick.  Shock?  Shit! Okay what do I do? Mmm hmm. Okay.”  Kyo set the phone down by Ruki’s head and quickly stripped the comforter off his bed and grabbed his pillow.  Returning to the bathroom he gently turned Ruki on his side and wedged the pillow behind his back to keep him from rolling back onto his back.  Then he wrapped the comforter tightly around him, tucking him the way a mom does her child. 

Picking up the phone again he spoke into it, his own forehead popping sweat with worry.  ‘hypovolemic shock’ sounded bad.  “Okay… He’s covered in a warm blanket and bathrobe and he’s on his side in case he pukes.  Yeah ... yeah... sure. Please hurry.”  He quickly gave them his address then hung  up the phone. Gently stroking Ruki’s cold and clammy forehead he muttered … “come on man… You can’t die on me… you’d better not die on me!  You threatened to give me a blow job for my birthday remember?   How are you gonna suck me off if you’re in heaven? Huh?  … hey Ruki… If you live… I’ll cum in your mouth how’s that for incentive?”

He tried to joke but he was really freaking out.  Flipping the phone open, he dialed Kai’s number.  Kai was Ruki’s band leader and knew everyone else that needed to be contacted.  He had Kai’s number because, after the first time he’d helped Ruki clean up he’d wanted to be able to give someone a head’s up.  He dreaded making this call, but He knew how he would feel if someone had failed to call him, and tell him that one of his bandmates was knocking on deaths door, no matter how humiliating the cause.  His bandmates were family to him.  He knew Kai felt the same.

“Moshi… Mosh?”  A sleepy voice answered. “Kai? It’s Kyo… listen man… Ruki is… _FUCK!_ ” Kyo had to swallow down the lump of tears that threatened to choke him.  Forcing the words out past his raw throat he spoke into the phone, words that were bound to fuck everyone’s night.  “The ambulance is on the way, he’ll go to Shibuya Memorial. But… Kai... he’s lost a lot of blood and he’s unconscious... I don’t know if… Aww, Fuck man… You’d better prepare for the worst…” he really didn’t want to contemplate Ruki dying.  And not for something like this, that would haunt him and forever tarnish Ruki’s memory.  Ruki should be remembered for his amazing voice and Fashion daring-do… Not for his fucked-up sex life. He snapped the phone shut, not wanted to speak. Not wanting to _explain_.  It wasn’t his place anyway.  IF Ruki lived, he could make his own explanations or lies.  But Kyo wanted to break that promise, he wanted to file charges against Ruki’s boyfriend, or whoever did this to him.  No amount of great rough sex was worth someone’s life.  None.

Kai had barely registered that it was Kyo on the phone before he was telling him that… he could hardly equate the words with reality.  But once his brain caught up and after Kyo had so rudely hung up on him, it started to make some sick sense.  Ruki was hurt, and headed to the hospital.  And Kyo thought he was dying.  But he didn’t know why or how Ruki had been hurt.  It mattered not, with a frantic curse he cut on his bedside light and jumped out of bed.  “Reita!  Reita get up – get dressed ... it’s Ruki!”  He frantically screeched at his lover, before snatching a pair of jeans and pulling them up commando.  He placed his cell on speaker phone, glad that his phone had a conference call feature.  Quickly he dialed the other bandmembers, their manager, and one of the PR grunts from the label.  A chorus of sleepy voices answered within seconds of each other.  “Ruki’s on the way to Shibuya Memorial, and he’s badly injured.  Kyo thinks he’s dying.”  Several screeched “Whaat?” and and at least one cursed “Fuck!” though Kai couldn’t have said who.  “Everyone meet at the hospital as soon as possible okay? We’ve got to get this under control before the press finds out!” A chorus of agreement resounded out and the calls disconnected.  If Ruki was truly at death’s door, his family would be there with him. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo has a plan for when Ruki gets out of the hospital, but it isn't what either of them expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N - some of the rest of this story deals with dominance/submission roles and bedroom games. Now, I'll admit the only thing I know about this scene is what I've read in popular literature. But I think I have a basic understanding of some things. Nevertheless, I could be wrong. I apologize before hand to anyone for whom that is a way of life if I've gotten it wrong. This is Ruki and Kyo's idea of such things. **

Ruki ended up in intensive care for 2 weeks.  4 Blood transfusions and 2 operations on his rectum and bowels, and a closed reduction of his broken jaw later... he was finally on the mend.  He was fortunate not to need a colostomy. Even in this modern age, domestic violence laws were dubious at best.  In most cases, if the victim refused to bring charges against the aggressor no action was taken other than to take down a report of the incident.  Domestic violence cases in same-sex relationships were poorly reported, and even more poorly investigated.  Ruki had lucked out in a way. He had arrived at a hospital in Shibuya, one of the few prefectures in the country that took domestic violence seriously, even among the homosexual population, and they had a zero-tolerance policy.  It didn't even matter if the "incident" hadn't taken place IN Shibuya.  If the victim ended up seeking medical care there, and if said medical care required sutures or an overnight hospital stay charges were filed by the Prefecture on the victim's behalf.

 

When the police knocked on Ruki's apartment door, Atsushi had answered it in nothing but an unbuttoned shirt and underwear.  There had still been dried blood on his knuckles and dried blood was still visible on his thighs.  DNA evidence proved it belonged to Ruki.  The pop-star was now awaiting his trial.  Because they had been live-in-lovers the DA was having a difficult time proving rape, but he could prove excessive domestic violence.  Even rough, consensual, sex shouldn't almost get you killed.  And Ruki was a well loved, and much more popular, celebrity than Atsushi was.  If he got off light, he faced 5-10 years of house arrest and would be prohibited from touring.  Middle-ground had him 10-20 years in jail.  Maximum - due to the severity of Ruki's injuries and to the fact that Kyo, band-members, and staff could testify to months of injuries that had to be covered up with heavy makeup - 25 yrs to LIFE in prison. 

 

Thankfully the tabloids seemed more focused on Atsushi's possible sentence and it's repercussion for his band, than on the fact that he had almost raped Ruki to death.  Of course that little tidbit had been kept from the press. All they knew was that Ruki had a broken jaw and "internal injuries" which could have been almost anything.  Yet, every day of those two weeks, Kyo hardly ever left his side.  He worked from within the hospital room, either writing down lyrics and music in a notebook, or editing music on his laptop with his headphones on so as not to disturb Ruki's rest.  He stayed, and bullied Ruki into staying in bed when he was supposed to, into finishing his meal tray, into walking around the room and down the hall like the doctors wanted him to.  Whether he wanted to or not.  No amount of whining, bitching, or empty threats could get Kyo to budge.  And Ruki had to silently thank him for that.  He was recovering quickly, far more quickly than he probably would have if he had had his own way and been allowed to sulk. 

 

He watched Kyo sitting in the windowsill, illegally smoking a cigarette and blowing the smoke out of the window.  A part of him was still confused about everything that had happened the night he'd ended up here, and part of him was confused as to why Kyo was here, and why he stayed.  His other friends came and went... but Kyo, even with his own busy career, refused to leave his side.  A week into his confinement he'd told Kyo to "Fuck off! Why are you here anyway?"  Kyo had just walked up to him and manhandled him back into bed.  Tucking the covers in around him, Kyo had leaned forward and thumped him sharply on the nose.  "Owww!  That hurt!"  Ruki tried to look indignant and cute, but cute failed to fly with Kyo.  He growled so low at Ruki, that Ruki instinctively cringed back.

 

A strong finger poked him sharply in the chest.  "YOU.  Almost. Fucking. DIED. ** _On My Watch_** , on my fucking bathroom floor.  You sure as HELL are NOT going to undo everything that's been done to put you back together now.  NOT. ON. MY. WATCH."  Then Kyo gave him a goofy grin "Got it?" before returning to his normally stoic face.  Ruki sat there stunned as Kyo went back to the windowsill and picked up his notebook.  Without even looking up at him, Kyo said " Drink your juice."  And Ruki complied, unable to say... anything.  The answer to his question, hadn't really been an answer at all, but he gathered that Kyo cared.  Why else would be such a damn bully?

 

Kyo watched Ruki shift restlessly in the uncomfortable hospital bed.  In a few days, he'd be released from the hospital, but the doctors were still afraid he'd do too much too soon.  Japanese musicians were well known for pushing themselves too hard.  He'd had a plan to deal with that.  When the band-members and Ruki's manager had gotten together with the doctors to discuss Ruki's aftercare Kyo had spoken up.  "He's coming home with me."  7 pairs of eyes turned in his direction, even though he didn't return their gaze.  He just kept gazing off out the window.  "He's coming home with **_ME_**.  The tabloids will be looking for him.  They'll stalk his house, they'll stalk all of your houses, and they'll scout the hotels.  He's not safe in any of those places.  But not many people know that we're friends.  I've been here.  No one has seen ME come and go like they have you.  They won't think to look for him there."

 

They all looked at each other, and then back at Kyo.  It made sense, and was a perfect solution short of sneaking Ruki out of the country.  Thus it was decided, Ruki would stay with Kyo until the doctors said that he could safely live on his own again.  Kyo sighed.  He hated roommates - they got in the way, they made a mess of things, they hogged to remote.  And God only knows what living with a fashion diva like Ruki would be like.  But, it had to be done. 

 

Ruki was supremely glad to be out of the hospital, glad to finally be headed home.  And to a real fucking bed.  Kyo had offered to give him a ride, and he'd taken him up on it.  There were still awkward silences sometimes when dealing with his band-mates.  With Kyo, the silence was there but it was normal... not laced with embarrassed awkwardness.  He was surprised though, when Kyo pulled into his own apartment complex and not Ruki's.  He watched as Kyo snagged a rather large piece of luggage that looked oddly familiar out of the trunk.  "Are you coming, or do you plan on sleeping in my car?"  Kyo said as he started walking for the entrance.

 

 "Huh?" Ruki replied, scrambling to get out of the car and follow him.  "What do you mean sleep in the car... and ... why do you have a piece of my luggage?"  By then they were on the elevator, something Kyo rarely rode on because he said it made him feel like a midget in a clown car.  Kyo hit the number for his floor.  "Because you're staying with me for a while.  Doctor's orders."  Ruki stood there stunned.  _Doctor's orders?  and he had to stay with KYO?_

 

The doors to the elevator opened, and Kyo was out of them before Ruki could ask any more questions.  He followed Kyo into the apartment and toed off his shoes.  His luggage was left by the couch as Kyo headed into the kitchen, Ruki hot on his heels.  Kyo opened the fridge and grabbed a beer, swatting Ruki's hand away when he reached for one too. "Nuh ah! No alcohol while you're on those pain meds."  Ruki cocked an annoyed eyebrow at him and sneered "Yes _mother_ ".  Kyo growled at him.  " _yes, mother_ me again and I will bend you over and spank you 'till it hurts to sit down and you know your ass is already sore..."  Ruki made a noise but didn't repeat it.  Kyo was known to carry out such threats, and his ass really was still store. 

 

Looking around the small apartment, Ruki recalled that it was only one bedroom.  And Kyo's couch was just an old lumpy couch, not even a futon.  "So If I'm staying with you for an indefinite period of time, where am I supposed to sleep?"  He demanded, crossing his arms in a huff.  "Duh... the bed." Kyo said, taking a swig of his beer.  Ruki glanced down the hallway and then back at Kyo.  "Well, then where are you going to sleep?".  Kyo quirked an eyebrow.  "Where do you think?" 

 

"The couch?"  Ruki guessed.  Kyo gave him an evil grin.  " my house, my bed.  And if you spoon me, I'll wrack you in the nuts."  Kyo pointed down the hall. "Now go take a bath, you stink". Ruki looked back and forth down the hall and back at Kyo, trying to understand it all, but in the end... he did what he was told.  He took a nice long bubble bath and after he got out he climbed in the bed to cool off, but soon found himself fast asleep. 

 

Days passed with Kyo constantly bossing him around, the same way he had in the hospital.  And then one day, he went to grab a bathrobe off the door and spotted the faint bloodstains on it.  He flashed back to that horrible night, remembering Kyo's voice through the fog. _“come on man… You can’t die on me…You threatened to give me a blow job for my birthday remember? … hey Ruki… If you live… I’ll cum in you’re mouth  - how’s that for incentive?”_

 

 Ruki smiled at himself.  Had Kyo really said that?  The very good, very understanding, but slightly homophobic friend that turned down his offer to blow him every year?  Ruki had lived... would Kyo accept his proposition this year?  It wasn't so much that Ruki lusted after Kyo or anything... it was just a long-standing joke between them.  And yet Kyo did have a rockin' bod and _very_ nice bulge.  Ruki thought he'd quite enjoy performing fellatio on Kyo.

 

Days turned into weeks, and they'd settled into a comfortable kind of ... existence.  Kyo bossed him around, and Ruki bristled and grumbled, bitched and griped but ended up doing what he was told and secretly enjoyed it.  Or so he thought.  Kyo watched him like a hawk and noticed how Ruki seemed to thrive under the least bit of praise, calmed down when he wasn't given the option to have his own way. Ruki really was a quite natural submissive. 

 

One night, once it was safe for Ruki to be drinking, he let Ruki have about two beers, already seeing the light buzz come over his features after having been sober for almost 2 months.  "Hey Ruki... tell me something".  Kyo asked, leaning forward in his chair.  Ruki looked at him curiously.  "Sure... anything".  Kyo nodded and seemed to thinking hard about what he wanted to say.  "Those guys you dated ... the ones that hurt you.  What were you looking for with them?  What made you choose them, and what did you ask of them that gave them the impression it was okay to hurt you?"

 

Ruki thought about it, thought hard.  "I like ... strong, intelligent, powerful men.  I liked... "  Ruki blushed a little.  "I liked ... to be bossed around, tied up a little, pinned down, my hair pulled a little - stuff like that.  I liked even being bossed around _outside_ of the bedroom..." He smiled shyly at Kyo, busted.  "But I don't understand why they thought that just because I like all that other stuff, that I must like to be hurt too." 

 

Kyo nodded his head.  " I thought as much.  Ruki, you're a submissive.  It's not a bad thing, it just means - kind of what you said.  You have a natural tendency to like to be ordered around. You like structure and rules and you feel better and safer when someone else has to make the decisions and all you have to do is act.  And those men - they were the wrong type for you.  I think what you were looking for was a Dominant.  Someone strong enough to give you what you need, but also strong enough to make sure you didn't get hurt doing it.  And as for the pain... that's sadomasochism.  That's a _whole_ different ball of wax.  See, Sadists tend to be dominants, because they like to control and cause pain.  Masochists tend to be submissive and like to be hurt. But people tend to the confuse the two.  A dominant doesn't HAVE to be a sadist, nor a submissive a masochist.  It just depends on what you want from the game. "

 

Ruki stared wide-eyed at Kyo. Some of what Kyo said made sense, "How do you _know_ all that shit?"  Kyo blushed.  "I used to be into that scene.  I was a Dominant, what is sometimes referred to as a "Master".  That's someone who's been around a while and has been trained to see to the needs of the submissives in their care.  I think you'd benefit from playing with a Master.  You'd get the dominance you crave, but within the safety of the rules of the club.  Like for instance, I'll bet you never had a safe word with your lovers did you?"

 

Ruki gave him a confused look.  "What's a safe word?'  Kyo shook his head. "It's a miracle you've survived this long and relatively un-scarred.  A safe-word is just that.  It's a panic button of sorts.  If you use the word, everything  stops.  It's means you've had too much or you've been seriously hurt.  See DS is kind of a misconception.  For a while you give up your control to the Dominant, but in reality you still _have_ control because _you_ get to say when it stops.  And the Dominant **_has_** to stop if you use the word, that's part of the trust in that relationship.  The Dominant agrees to stop if you use the word, and you have trust him to honor that.  That's a lot of trust, so it's a great responsibility upon the Dominant to make sure you never need to use your word. "  Ruki hummed, thinking about what Kyo had said.  "Yeah, I should've had a safe word.  It does sound interesting."  And that was the end of the conversation.

 

One morning Ruki awoke, warm and cocooned, having slept better than he could remember in the longest time.  He rustled in the bed, trying to get just a might bit more comfy when felt a weight on his tummy pull him back tight against a warm chest.  "Go back to sleep Ru - you're just dreaming"  A voice ghosted hot against the back of his neck.  He wondered if Kyo knew he was spooning Ruki.  However it had happened, it felt nice and Ruki drifted back to sleep.  Kyo cracked his eyes and waited until Ruki settled down again.  He'd been having nightmares, thrashing in his sleep.  After getting punched in the throat (by accident of course), he'd found that the only thing that calmed Ruki down, was to restrain him tight against his body. Thus, he'd found himself spooning the poor man almost every night, though he made a habit to move off once he was sure Ruki was going to stay asleep. He didn't want Ruki to know.

 

It was strange, but Ruki seemed to be growing on him.  Like a fungus.  He didn't really want to have to sex with him, wasn't attracted to him.  But having been a Dominant, it was just nice to have a submissive around and Ruki was coming along nicely.  He seemed to thrive under Kyo's subtle Domination.  He tried to think of other Dominants he'd worked with all those years ago, and who might be a good match for Ruki to play with.  But, no one seemed to meet his standards.  No one who would _get_ Ruki the way Kyo did after the last few years of their strange friendship.  Then the oddest idea began to creep its way into his head.  It might be a solution.... or it might be the end of their friendship. They'd have to see.

 

Kyo awoke, draped across Ruki, once again having fallen asleep while the other was thrashing and failing to move back over to his own side after having calmed the other.  He didn't want to admit that he'd begun to enjoy cuddling the other. He could feel Ruki moving quietly and could feel Ruki's arm moving and the gentle rocking of his hips.  He gripped Ruki's wrist and pinned it the bed.  " I don't _think_ so. Do you know what today is Ruki?" Ruki gasped when Kyo caught his wrist, in both surprise and ... he had to admit a jolt of sexual tension.  His breath quickened, "um no.... Monday?"  He could feel Kyo shake his head against his nape.  "No ... it's my birthday.  And you owe me a _really_ big birthday present for putting up with your whiny ass these last few months.  Wanna know what your present is gonna be to me?" 

 

Ruki thought about all the implications to that question.  How many times had he offered Kyo a blow job only to be turned down? And yet, he could swear he remembered Kyo saying he'd let him do it this year if he lived.  With a gulp and half a prayer he nodded his head yes.  Kyo gave a soft growl then leaned forward to speak soft hot words in Ruki's ear.  " You're _not_ going to touch yourself, you're _not_ going to cum ... _all day_ until I get home tonight. And then if you've been good I'll tell you about the rest of my birthday present you'll be giving me."  Ruki shivered at the thought of that.  Why would Kyo want him not to cum? Not to touch himself?  Not being able to do those things only made him want to do them more.  But he was curious. Curious what Kyo had planned.  So he nodded his head yes to Kyo's demand.  "Don't just nod your head yes, Ruki - tell me what you just agreed to so I know you understand. "  Kyo sounded a bit annoyed.  Ruki tested the strength of the hand pinning his wrist down. Not so much because he wanted to get away, but because it felt good to be gripped so securely.  It made him feel safe.  "I'm not to touch my dick or cum until you get home tonight, and if I obey you'll tell me what else you want me to do  - and somehow it's related to your birthday present  - which you know I haven't had a chance to go shopping for!"    Ruki pouted.  It certainly wasn't much of a present if Ruki had nothing to do with picking out the gift. 

 

He thought he felt Kyo smile against the nape of his neck but couldn't be sure.  "Exactly".  And then Kyo was gone, as quickly as that he was up and pulling some pants over his legs and striding out of the room as if nothing had happened.  Ruki looked sadly down at his morning erection, and sighed.  His mother had always told him that such things "would go away if you ignore it".  He'd always been too afraid of blue balls to see if she was right.  Guess today was the day to test that theory.

 

His mom was wrong.  She was very, very, **_ever-so-fucking wrong_**.  Damn thing stayed at half-mast all day, occasionally swelling into a full-blown erection and it took every last scrap of his self control not to break his promise to Kyo.  If the bastard didn't come home with some porn or _something_ he was going to merrily _murder_ the bitch.

 

Kyo had thought long and hard about this night for two weeks. He'd soul searched.  He doubted.  Could he really overstep the boundaries of simple friendship and be what Ruki needed?  Could he take on the role of his Dominant?  Ruki was a sexual creature, he knew that.  Could he meet those needs as well?  He wasn't gay.  Didn't feel any attraction at all to men.  But there was that damn fungus again... Ruki had crept into his life and he felt damn possessive of him.  He wanted to be the one meet **_all_** of Ruki's needs even if they had to find creative ways of doing that - mainly his dick not getting anywhere **near** Ruki's ass.  And besides, the doctors had said that Ruki couldn't have anal sex for several more months.  Perhaps, that was all Ruki would need to help him figure out what he wanted and needed in a DS relationship and then help him find the right person to continue it.    He felt sure he could let Ruki suck him off. A blow job was a blow job.  He didn't think he had it in him to return the favor. But he felt confident he could give Ruki a hand job, that wasn't too personal and wouldn't necessarily leave Ruki stranded.  Yeah, this might work, but it depended on Ruki's cooperation.  If he kabashed the idea, they'd have to try to figure out a plan B, and his suggestion may build a chasm in the trust he'd garnered so far from the other.

 

He checked the bag yet again, making sure the items were in there.  He'd taken a special change of clothes with him when he left, and had changed into them just before he returned to the apartment.  Entering the apartment, he went straight to the living room and closed the blinds.  He shut off the television and began emptying the shopping bag in his hand.  Moving the coffee table over he dropped a fat fluffy cushion on the floor, one of those gel-core ones made for people who sat on their asses all day.  Then he removed 3 scarves from the bag.  Two of them were white silk and so sheer they looked like they weighed no more than an eyelash.  The third was a bright red heavy satin.  Then he pulled out what appeared to be a small jar of something and placed it on the coffee table. 

 

Ruki heard Kyo come in, but didn't hear him call out to say that he was home, which is what he usually did.  Curious he got up , having tried to lay down for a bit to calm down his damn crotch.  He should get a gold medal or a trophy or something for his self-restraint.  Ruki stalked down the hallway just in time to see Kyo placing a small jar on the coffee table , and an array of other items laid out as well.  "I kept my promise you **beast!** Your birthday ' _present'_ better be fucking worth it too"  He huffed. 

 

His draw dropped when Kyo turned around.  He was dressed in a long black tailored leather trenchcoat.  Underneath it he was shirtless, showing off those rock-hard abs and vibrant tattoos.  He wore soft leather pants that looked like they were painted on, hanging so low he could see Kyo's hips grooves and if he squinted even a hint of pubic hair.  And  **What. A. Package**.  "Oh my..." he heard himself whisper.  Kyo noticed the poleaxed look on Ruki's face.  In the state of arousal he was bound to be in, Kyo's appearance was engineered to ramp that up even another notch.  He had never been unaware that Ruki found him attractive, but thankfully Ruki had never acted on his attraction other than to make half-hearted propositions that neither had intentions of enacting.  He shrugged out of the trench and tossed it over the back of a chair.  Reaching down he picked up the two white scarves and stalked toward Ruki. 

 

Ruki had seen Kyo act all rough and dominant and sexy before - he was especially that when he was on stage and watching his concerts always made him a little flushed.  But tonight, stalking toward him... Kyo was Dominance and Sex-On-A-Fucking-Stick.  _What on earth was going on?_ Kyo circled around Ruki, like an animal with it's prey.  He got up into Ruki's personal space, without even touching him, backed him up until he was standing in front of the pillow he'd put on the floor.  He crossed to stand behind Ruki's back.  He laid his chin Ruki's shoulder and wrapped his leather clad wrists tightly around Ruki's wrists, pleased with the involuntary shiver that ran through Ruki's body at the grip.  "Do you trust me, Ruki?"  Confused Ruki, wrinkled his brow, uncertain where this was going.  "Um... yeah... with my life"  Taking that as consent to continue, Kyo quickly wrapped each wrist individually in a silk scarf, as tightly as his own grip had been.  Not enough to impede circulation, but enough to be _felt._   Holding the scarves together he tied Ruki's wrists loosely together with a quick slip knot that could be undone in seconds if Ruki tugged hard enough on the tails that were within his reach. 

 

Gripping Ruki's wrists once again, he told him "Kneel".  Ruki still didn't understand what was happening, why his heart was racing so fast, why he was breathing so hard, _why it felt so damn good to have his wrists tied like that._ But then the command came to kneel, and his legs didn't even ask his brain for permission, they just collapsed.  "Good" Kyo murmured.  Calloused fingers carefully brushed the hair out of Ruki's eyes, and away from his left ear.  Kyo knelt behind him, pressing his body into Kyo's, his hands on Ruki's waist to keep him from toppling forward.  "Your safe word is _KAI_.  Use it and _everything_ stops.  Untie yourself and _everything_ stops.  You can of course say "no" or "stop" - but if I don't think that's what's best for you, then I'm not going to comply with your request.  I will ask you why.  Tonight, you give up all control over to me.  Control over what you want to do, where you go, when you eat, drink, piss, sleep or cum. And you have to trust that I'll make sure you have and get what you need.  What you **_NEED_**   Ruki, which isn't always what you think you **_WANT_**.  I _promise_ that I'll stop everything if your safe word leaves your lips.  I _promise_ that nothing we do tonight will be painful, or rather not intentionally painful.  I know that you're aching to get your release but you can't have it yet.  It's not time, and that's a reward.  I _promise_ , that I'll take good care of you, the way you need to be.  Are you ready and willing to let a real Dominant show you how to play?"

 

Ruki trembled with every word that came out of Kyo's mouth.  It couldn't be real, It had to be a dream.  _Kyo wasn't gay_. But a part of him wanted to see what would come of this.  Part of him liked it when Kyo bossed him around every day, and God help him he wanted to know what it would be like to have Kyo boss him around in the bedroom too. Though that wasn't guaranteed.  Kyo hadn't said anything about sex.  Just about bossing him around and telling him that he could cum later... and that could mean anything from being given permission to jack off to getting gloriously fucked unconscious.  His breathing quickened in anticipation, and fingers tightened into fists.  He leaned his head back to rest it on Kyo's shoulder, baring his throat to the other. "Yes " he whispered in a hoarse voice.  **_"Play with me_** "


	3. play with me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyo has offered a challenge and a new game and Ruki has agreed. But what will Kyo do with Ruki's submission?

Kyo growled possessively at such a submissive posture, sure that Ruki wasn't even aware of the gorgeous supplication he was offering.  Unable to resist the offer, Kyo bit into Ruki's neck.  Not enough to leave a mark in the morning,but enough to stake his claim on the younger submissive.  Ruki shivered deliciously in Kyo's strong grip, gasped a cry of surprise, need, and pleasure.  Kyo's bite, not painful - not quite, but the pressure of it sent a jolt of pleasure straight to his cock. Kyo himself was somewhat shaken by his own reactions to Ruki in his submission.  The small cry that fell from the others lips made his cock swell just a bit, but enough to make him realize that maybe he was more attracted to Ruki than he'd let himself believe.

 

Licking away the sting of the wound, Kyo ordered gruffly.  "stay", then he got up - albeit a little shaky and glad that Ruki couldn't see how much he was affected.  Kyo padded to the kitchen and grabbed the pair of shears he kept there.  Ruki could afford another shirt, but he wasn't going to undo his restraints just to undress him.  Then he quietly stalked back into the room.  He stood there silently watching Ruki.  Ruki squirmed, shifting on the cushion, flexing his fingers to feel the snug grip of silk massage his bound wrists.  He was hard and straining, his shaft proudly tapping his stomach with each ragged breath he dragged into his lungs.  As, utterly strange as this situation was, there was still something exciting and _Right_ about it. 

 

Kyo once again knelt behind the other,  close enough he could feel Ruki nervous fingers accidentally stroke him.  He stilled a moment, enjoying the stimulation, before he moved to place the shears near Ruki's thigh.  Silently he reached around and began pulling Ruki's shirt from his pants.  His own breath, was hot against Ruki's nape and far faster than he intended.  Calloused fingers dragged themselves across Ruki's abdomen, causing him to gasp and tremble.  Kyo rumbled in satisfaction of how easy it was to draw a reaction from the other.  He picked up the shears and teased the sharp edge in a light scratch just beneath the hem of Ruki's jeans all the way around to the small of his back.  He didn't want to scare Ruki so much as to prove he _could_ hurt Ruki just as badly as his other lovers had, and yet also prove to him that he wouldn't.  Ruki needed to understand that though a _threat_ of going too far could always exist between them, he had to _know_ that he could trust that Kyo had enough restraint for both of them, and that he would always keep Ruki as safe as he needed to be.

 

Ruki trembled at the cold hard metal he could feel being pressed into his skin.  It caused a jolt of fear to pass through him.  Had he made a mistake in trusting Kyo? Would Kyo also make him bleed?  He held his breath and tensed, trying to prepare himself for the pain.  But the pain never came, instead he heard the snick of shears and felt tugging on the back of his shirt, cool air quickly rushing in where cloth had been, followed by a radiating heat that could only be coming from Kyo.  A few more snicks and tugs and Ruki's shirt lay In tatters around him.  An impossibly hot hand, rubbed across his back - soothing down his nerves.  The shears reappeared in front of him, unobscured by his clothing.  They gleamed wickedly sharp in the low light of the room.  The sharp point raised up to tease one nipple, which instantly perked under the attention, a little to Ruki's shame.  Once again that rough voice that his body seemed poised to obey, spoke into his ear.  "There's always going to be a chance, a _threat_ that I'll take things too far.  It's part of what stimulates and arouses.  But you'll have to learn to trust that _no matter what_ , I will never lose control.  That I _won't_ forget the limits we agree to every time we play. I intend to earn that trust, and to ensure you never regret giving yourself to my hand."

 

Ruki was a little confused by everything he was feeling both physically and emotionally.  He could think of no words to say, so he simply nodded his head yes in understanding.  Already, Kyo had won some trust from him.  And though he was nervous and a little scared, it wasn't nearly enough to make it stop.  God no, he wanted more.  Wanted _everything_ Kyo was willing to give him.  The older man, already seemed to know how to guage Ruki's needs far better than any other lover had ever done.

 

Once Ruki nodded his understanding, Kyo felt his trembling lessen, knew that he was winning over more control and trust from the other and sighed in satisfaction.  Things were flowing better than he could imagine, now he just had to be certain he didn't rush ahead too fast. Tossing the scissors off to the side, he gripped Ruki under the arms and pulled them up to stand .  "Up" he ordered as he stood them, feeling Ruki resist the manhandling of his body before the command stilled him and he complied.  He rewarded Ruki for his obedience by teasing his nipples.  Tugging and pinching lightly at the nubs until Ruki was leaning all of his body weight against Kyo in blissful surrender, small whmpers and lovely mewls falling from his plush lips.  Such a sight did Ruki make in his arms that Kyo didn't even think, he just gripped Ruki firmly by the throat and forced his head back far enough that could possess those lips in a demanding kiss.  Again, the grip was firm but in no way impeded Ruki's airway.   Ruki mewled and readily opened his mouth to Kyo's possession. Kyo was surprised at how good Ruki was at kissing.  It wasn't entirely _different_ from kissing a woman, though there was less -- restraint in it.  Ruki threw his entire being into the kiss, opening up his mouth to Kyo and in no way trying to wrestle control of it from him.  When Kyo finally broke the kiss, he was breathing hard and completely aroused.  _"fuck me..."_   he whispered, surprised at his own reaction.  Ruki smiled sleepily up at him. "No, that's my line".  The comment ripped a laugh from Kyo's throat and he nipped sharply at Ruki's ear.  "Imp".

 

Ruki simply hummed, far too relaxed and happy to even give comment.  All too soon, Kyo pushed him to stand on his own, and a small whimper of disappointment escaped him.  Kyo circled around to the front of him, trailing his fingers down the center of Ruki's chest to tug lightly at a few of the blond hairs that trickled down from his navel to his groin.  Smirking at Ruki he started to undo the button of his jeans, then slowly dragged the zipper down.  He tugged the toggle outward, limiting how much Ruki was stimulated by the simple act of undoing his fly.  Once the jeans were opened Kyo stepped forward, he dipped his hand down beneath Ruki's jeans and boxers to grip his ass before shucking Ruki's jeans and boxers down to his knees in one harsh movement.  Ruki groaned at the feel of Kyo's hot calloused hands cupping his ass, and felt his hole clench in want and in need.  The doctors had forbidden him to resume anal sex for 6 months after the attack, and that meant 3 more months with no sex.  He didn't know how he was going to survive.  He was a uke.. fucking loved and craved the feel of a hot throbbing cock in his ass grazing his prostate with perfectly aimed thrusts. "Tease" he grumbled, before hissing a bit in pain as his jeans and boxers were forced roughly down, and his straining erection hit the cold air. 

 

He should have been embarrassed to be naked and bound in front of Kyo.  Instead, he was even more aroused by the predatory gaze he could glimpse beneath Kyo's hooded eyes.  Kyo reached out and tentatively grazed his knuckles across Ruki's straining shaft.  Of course he'd seen Ruki's junk, had even bitched him out for walking into the kitchen a time or two with his raging morning wood in full display.  But he had never seen it this engorged, already weeping and bobbing slightly with each breath Ruki took.  Was he really the cause of it?  Could he have the ability to arouse a _man_ so fiercely? Sure, Ruki often offered to blow him, but he'd never really gotten the impression that Ruki wanted him that way.  They were friends, but they weren't on each other's radar as dating material, or even fuck buddies. 

 

Ruki trembled at the barely-there touch of Kyo's fingers on his shaft.  They felt impossibly cold, and the rough texture of the worn skin just made him shiver.  Kyo took his hand away and looked at Ruki standing there, trembling slightly, flushed with arousal, lips plump from kissing and he had to admit... Ruki was _fucking glorious_.  Bringing out such passion in even one so passionate as Ruki was, seemed to be an accomplishment to him. Though in truth he didn't know how easily Ruki was brought into the this state.  He could hardly credit himself as the cause, and there he was.  Kyo looked into Ruki's eyes and grazed his nails along Ruki's hip bone.  "mm... you've been very good so far Ruki, keep it up and I might have to give you an extra special treat."  Ruki dipped his head and blushed, but his heart raced at the praise.  "There's only one treat I want..." he whispered.

 

Kyo barely caught the whispered comment, but he did catch it.  It was important that Ruki learn to speak up and ask for what he wanted and needed from Kyo.  So far, everything they'd done had been a guess on Kyo's part and thankfully all his instincts had so far had been right.  He tilted Ruki's head up to look at him, licking his lips at how vulnerable Ruki looked when he blushed.  "And what treat would that be Ruki?  What do you want? Maybe I can give it to you. Maybe I can't, but we will never know unless you speak your mind.  I can't read your mind Ruki, if you're going to get all  your needs met, then you have to ask for what you want. Figure out what you need and tell me.  "

 

Ruki shifted and squirmed as he stood under Kyo's scrutiny, his mobility restrained by the clothing still tangled around his ankles. "I.. I want... I want to taste you Kyo". Kyo tapped his Ruki's kiss-swollen lips.   "You already have, be more specific".  Why was it that he could perform all kinds of dirty talk with his lovers, fairly beg to be fucked in the lewdest positions, but standing here - trying to ask Kyo if once again he could suck him off, gave him pause?  He wanted a lot of things right then.  Even though he knew Kyo wasn't gay... a part of him still didn't want this to end, wanted to push it farther.  So much farther than teasing touches, and mind-blowing kisses.  Looking into Kyo's eyes, he took a deep breath and asked for what he _wanted_ most at that moment. 

 

"I want to get on my knees again, and I want you to fuck my mouth and I want to swallow you down when you come."  Something flashed in Kyo's eyes that he couldn't decipher.  Kyo's fingers traced along his jaw where it had been broken.  "How much can you take?"  He asked curious.  Kyo was well endowed, not so much in girth as in length.  He had yet to meet a lover who could take all of him orally.  There weren't many who could handle 9 inches of length.  Ruki, licked his lips and chewed on the bottom one a moment.  Then he smiled wickedly at Kyo. "All of it. "  Kyo quirked an eyebrow at that, " No one has yet".  Ruki scoffed, " They were women.  I'm a man and I can hold my breath for 4 minutes and I have no gag reflex.  I dare you to test my limits"  Kyo fisted his hand in Ruki's hair and forced his head back, grazing his teeth down Ruki's jawline and down his neck.  "You should be careful about making dares when you're under my hand Ruki.  I'll make you eat your words"  Ruki groaned under the onslought of Kyo's talented mouth.  "I'd rather eat your dick".  Kyo growled, Ruki might be submissive in many ways but his mind was still sharp, he hadn't lost _himself_   in the game. "Behave.  and I might consider giving you your treat if you finish all your dinner"

 

Ruki almost pouted, but then broke out in a grin.  _Hot damn, I might get my wish after all..._

"Step out of those pants and go sit on the couch, I'll make dinner.  Do you want beer or wine?"  Kyo asked, willing to let him have one alcoholic beverage to help settle his nerves for everything else that was to come.  He was still very strict with Ruki regarding alcohol because of the medications he was still on.  Ruki, danced carefully trying to shuck his pants.  "um wine I think, what are we having for dinner?"  Kyo went into the kitchen and pulled out the chicken he'd had marinating in white wine, fresh lemons and capers.  "chicken picatta over penne pasta"  he called out. 

 

" Wow, sounds like date food"  Ruki teased back.  "STFU bitch" was Kyo's answer.  Kyo carefully took the breasts out and sliced them into tender strips. He poured a light basil flavored oil into a frying pan and turned up the heat, then he placed some flour in a ziplock and began lightly flouring the strips of chicken.  Once the strips were floured he laid them out on a plate. Then he filled a pot with water and added a bit sea salt turning the heat on high.  "dinner should be ready in about 30 minutes or less"  He said, so what if it _was_ date food?  It was his damn birthday and he'd eat well if wanted to.  Besides, Ruki always ate more if it was food he had cooked and not take out.  Ruki was in NO  way a chef.  The one time he'd tried to cook something he'd almost set the kitchen on fire.  Henceforth Ruki had been banned from cooking duties. 


	4. The first act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first act in their little game, will Kyo let Ruki give him the birthday blow job he's always asked him for?

Kyo moved smoothly around the kitchen, pulling out the bottle of white wine he had placed in the fridge last night to chill and opened it, pouring himself a glass to sip on while he cooked.  When the oil was hot he lightly browned the chicken.  Once they were all cooked he drained off the excess oil and deglazed the pan with some of the white wine marinade.  The bright scent of lemon spiced with capers filled the kitchen making his mouth water.  He returned the tenders to the pan to simmer in the sauce while he waited for the pasta to finish cooking.  He drained the pasta and poured out a generous portion on a large platter.  Then he took about half the tenders and sliced them up into bite sized pieces. Scattering the chicken over the pasta he then poured some of the sauce over it and grabbed a set chopsticks.  He poured another glass of wine for Ruki and brought both their glasses to rest on the coffee table near where Ruki was sitting.  It couldn't be said that he was sitting patiently though, he fidgeted and squirmed, still obviously aroused in spite of an almost 30 minutes lapse in stimulation.  Kyo smirked a little, perhaps enjoying Ruki's frustration a bit too much, but he knew that the powerful orgasm he let him have at the end of the night would be well worth the wait.  Hopefully it would be enough to settle him so he could sleep well. 

 

Kyo returned to the kitchen and retrieved the platter and chopsticks.  He curled up on the couch next to Ruki and  held the platter on his lap between them.  Picking up a piece of meat, he blew lightly on it and then held it out to Ruki.  "Open wide".  Ruki laughed at the almost adorably romantic way Kyo was perched on the couch offering to feed him.  He grinned at the other. "Awww. date food and now you're offering to feed me?  How tewwibly womantic!"  he chuckled even as he leaned forward to accept the offered morsal.  Kyo reached over and thumped him on the tip of his nose.  "Don't make me spank you and put you to bed without your dinner, and if that happens you will NOT get permission to come.  Now eat up, I know you're dying for desert."  Ruki wiggled his nose, wishing he could reach up and rub away the sting of the rebuke.  But he smiled at Kyo treating him almost like a bratty child.  And a part of shivered at the idea of Kyo, bending him over those leather clad thighs and heating up his ass cheeks with a few powerful swats.  The very idea made his cock jump, but he didn't want to go to bed without cumming.  He'd been hard and aching all day and wanted his "dessert". As amazing as Kyo had been so far tonight, he was certain it was something he didn't want to miss.

 

Ruki screwed up his face like a scolded child, but he settled down and opened his mouth to take the bite Kyo had offered him.  Occasionally Kyo would offer him a sip of wine, or sometimes... in an almost tender gesture would reach up to wipe away a bit of sauce from his chin or the corner of his mouth then offer the digit up so that Ruki could clean it off.  Licking, sucking, teasing Kyo's fingers became so much fun, and such a challenge that he found himself purposely dribbling his food just so he could taste more of Kyo's fingers. 

 

Kyo wasn't unaware of what Ruki was doing.  The first time he'd offered his finger it hadn't even really been on purpose, other than that he'd forgotten to bring in napkins and didn't want to wipe the sauce on either his pants or his couch.  Still, Ruki was like a seductive little kitten, his delicate pink tongue darting out to lap up a treat. He even pushed his finger past those amazing lips and let Ruki suckle and play with him with a way that suggested he was going to be friggin' _amazing at_ giving head.  Kyo was no stranger to receiving oral sex.  He enjoyed it, he'd never met a guy who didn't. But most women were timid, they went at it like it was a chore.  Ruki though... Ruki took so much enjoyment simply from his fingers in his mouth, that Kyo knew not only that Ruki had an oral fixation that he was probably unaware of, but also that he probably truly would _love_ blowing Kyo. 

 

Soon enough, Kyo set the platter down, satisfied that they had eaten about 2/3 of it and at least an entire chicken breast each.  Still he didn't want Ruki's stomach too full, he wasn't certain he believed Ruki when he said he had no gag reflex.  A woman had puked on him once while trying to perform fellatio... it was.. yeah.. _totally_ not sexy.  And a complete and total mood killer.  He offered Ruki another sip of wine then took their glasses back to the kitchen to refill them and to retrieve the small jar of warmed butterscotch caramel.  Ruki had eaten a large enough meal that he didn't fear so much that his meds and the wine would interact badly.  He placed the wine and caramel on a small tray and walked past Ruki toward their bedroom.  Placing the tray on the night stand he fished in its drawer until he found the bottle of lubricant he usually kept there.  Hiding the bottle under his pillow he went to retrieve Ruki from the living room. 

 

Ruki watched in curiousity as Kyo walked past him with something on a tray.  Then Kyo was stalking toward him, a kind of curious smile on his face that made reminded Ruki of a cat with a canary feather sticking out it's mouth. _nope, not up to nothin'  ... **yeah right**_. Kyo knelt down in front of Ruki, meeting him at eye level. Reaching over to the coffee table he snagged the last scarf, running the blood red satin through his fingers.  He reached a hand up and gently brushed the hair away from Ruki's eyes and behind his ears.  He ghosted a thumb across those plump lips and resisted the urge to steal another kiss.  "Do you still trust me, Ruki?  Can you trust me fully, one last time?"  Kyo asked, only half certain that he had earned that trust.  Only half.  There were still depths to Ruki that needed to be explored and plundered before they both could fully understand everything Kyo needed to do _for_ and _to_ Ruki to settle him down and keep him satisfied. 

 

Ruki watched Kyo play with the satin scarf that flowed like water (or blood) in Kyo's hands.  He didn't miss the implication either.  This was another of those tests, a reminder that Kyo might hurt him, but that he promised he wouldn't.  Did he trust Kyo enough for him to use that last  scarf?  And what exactly was he going to do with it?  He didn't know but thinking back over everything they'd done tonight, and all the meticulous care Kyo had taken of him over the last few months, made him realize that he really _did_ trust Kyo.  And that when it came down to it, he even trusted him to hurt him.  And knew somehow that Kyo would transform such an experience into mind-numbing pleasure. He swallowed palpably, but nodded his head.  "I trust you, Kyo.  More than I trust myself"

 

Kyo smiled an encouraging smile at Ruki's bravery then.  He really did seem to be thriving under the attention Kyo was giving him, relaxing as the rules got stricter and stricter.  Giving up trying to think everything through and just _enjoying_ the moment.  He reached up and gently held the cloth in front of Ruki's face.  " Close your eyes"  he said softly before wrapping the soft cloth around Ruki's face several times and securing it in a knot snug enough to ensure no light would leak through and that Ruki's vision was completely obscured.  He sat there, silently, one hand cupping Ruki's head, his thumb gently along his jaw to remind Ruki that he wasn't alone in the darkness.    Taking away a Subs sight, caused an almost ten-fold increase in certain sensations as the body's senses strained to make up for the lost input of data.  He knew that right then, loud noises would startle him and make him tense up, but knew also that he skin would be hyper-sensitive. 

 

It took an incredible amount of trust for a submissive to give up their sight, something which further impaired their independence and ability to resist the control they'd given over to another.  He hoped that this experience would help kick Ruki over the edge, and that he wouldn't betray the trust given to him.  Ruki had placed his entire being in his hands, with the blindfold.  More so than when gave up his freedom of movement.  And he intended to make sure Ruki didn't regret that gift.  Kyo gently helped Ruki to stand, then led him carefully through the living room, stopping only to pick up the pillow Ruki had knelt on before, and down the hall into their bedroom.   He set the pillow onto the floor then pushed lightly on Ruki's shoulders urging him downward.  "Kneel" he ordered, echoing the first command he'd placed upon Ruki this night. 

Ruki's heart had stuttered in his chest when he realized that the third scarf was going to be a blindfold.  Accepting everything that had happened tonight when he could see and anticipate what was going to happen had been unnerving enough, but to think that there would be no way to anticipate _anything_ made him more frightened than the scissors did.  But then Kyo ordered him to close his eyes, and he did, without stopping to question it.  His brain might be having second thoughts but his body was eager to give Kyo everything he commanded and to receive everything he was given with eager anticipation.  His body trembled as he fought to gain control of himself, and fight the urge to release his wrists and rip the soft cloth from his eyes.  But he could feel the heat of Kyo's hand on his face, could the feel the heat radiating off his body as he knelt to close to him.  **_I'm not alone in the dark.  Kyo has me.  He promised to take care of me._** The idea sunk deep into him, far deeper than simply his mind, but seemed to sink it's way deeper... into his heart.  _Kyo has me. **Kyo has me.**_ His body stopped trembling, and he felt himself leaning into Kyo's hand, reinforcing the thought in his mind.  Letting himself trust his instincts for once, that said that he could trust Kyo, with everything that was asked of him. 

 

He allowed Kyo to maneuver him through the apartment, his memory letting him know they were most likely headed for the bedroom.  Once again the command came to kneel and he obeyed.  A small relief rose in him at the recognition and proper obedience of a familiar command.  He waited there, his head bowed awaiting the next command, the next caress, knowing that this ... **_this_** .... would be the culmination of tonight's experiences. 

 

Kyo looked down at Ruki, whose submission was so triumphant he wanted to crow.  Deciding he would indulge himself and reward Ruki at the same time he leaned down and captured those plush lips.  He pulled Ruki's head up, making him stretch his body to reach the kiss, to work for it. Kyo kissed Ruki thoroughly, plundering his mouth with his tongue.  Stroking in and out of the cavern of his mouth in a rythmic simulation of the act Kyo knew Ruki desired but wouldn't get.   Not tonight at least, and perhaps not ever from Kyo.  Breathlessly Kyo broke the kiss, smiling at the way Ruki whimpered.   "Do you still want to suck my cock Ruki?"  Kyo asked with a voice roughened by lust.  "oh God yes, please"  Ruki sighed, nodding his head vigorously. 

 

Kyo chuckled slightly at Ruki's eagerness.  He stood up and shifted, sliding his pants off and tossing them to the side.  It wasn't the first time he'd ever been nude in front of Ruki.  They lived together after all, and often crossed paths in the bathroom, but this was the first time he'd sported a bare erection in Ruki's presence and part of him was grateful for that.  There was just something unsettling about having a gay man see your erection when you weren't gay.  Reaching down he gave himself a comforting stroke, reminding himself that he could do this.  That Ruki **_needed_** this. **_Wanted_** it so desperately. And Kyo had promised to try to meet **_all_** of Ruki's needs and wants if he could. 

 

Reaching over he grabbed Ruki's wine glass and turned to him.  "Open your mouth"  he said, and watched as an eager grin crossed the other face.  Ruki opened his mouth eager for the feel of hot silky flesh against his lips, but was surprised when what touched them was cold and hard instead.  It confused him for a minute until he heard Kyo say. " Drink".  Then it dawned on him.  The wine.  "mm."  He murmured and wrapped his lips around the glass, tilting his head so Kyo could pour a sip into his mouth.  The liquid was cold and sweet, and he mourned the way the taste masked some of Kyo's flavor.  He licked his lips and opened his mouth again, wiggling his tongue a little, like a baby bird begging for food. 

 

Kyo set the wine glass down, and smiled at Ruki's antics.  Still, he'd earned the reward he'd asked for so sweetly.    Taking a spoonful of the warm caramel he drizzled it on his cock, hissing slightly at the deep heat that sank into the flesh.  It was just warm enough to be slightly painful on such sensitive flesh.  Gripping the back of Ruki's head he guided his sweetened shaft between Ruki's eager lips. 

 

Ruki gasped slightly when he felt Kyo fist his scalp and tug him forward in silent command.  Eagerly he  relaxed in Kyo's grip and allowed himself to be led forward, tears sprang to his eyes when silky soft flesh brush his lips far larger than any of Kyo's fingers.  At last.... he was going to get his wish. Mewling in pleasure he began to eagerly suck at the head, surprised when an explosion of butterscotch crossed his palate.  He would have stopped to comment, but the grip Kyo had on his head, allowed for no retreat.  He wasn't forcing himself down Ruki's throat to the point that he couldn't still breathe, but he wasn't letting him pull off either.  Not that Ruki really wanted to, now that he had that coveted flesh between his lips. 

 

Kyo groaned at the feel of Ruki's plush, kiss-swollen lips tightening early around his cock.  That talented vocalists tongue, dancing and caressing the textures of his shaft, even so shallow it was already the best oral sex he'd ever been given.  He hissed and fisted Ruki's hair a bit tighter, "that's right, take it Ruki,  take it **_all_** . Take me to the root if you can." The small mewls, moans and whimpers that vibrated from Ruki's mouth only added to the pleasure of that hot wet cavern.  Right at that moment, Kyo would have bet Ruki could suck a jaw breaker through a fucking straw.  The lewd sucking sounds that generated from this act only reverberated in the silent bedroom, with the sounds of loud breathing and moaning.  He rocked his hips tentatively, forcing more and more of himself into Ruki's eager mouth, gauging his reactions, his possible resistance to the intrusion.  But Ruki simply seemed to become more eager, more desperate to meet his challange, and if anything strained at Kyo's hand in an effort to take more of him down.  Taking it as a good sign, Kyo risked pushing himself deeper into Ruki's throat than he'd ever gone with anyone else. 

 

With almost no resistance he could feel himself press against the back of Ruki's throat and slide down further into what had to be his esophagus.  He held himself there a few seconds, astonished to indeed be lodged to the root in Ruki's throat - and then Ruki swallowed against him, his throat muscles constricting to stroke the head of his cock in a way he'd never been touched before.  _"mother of god, Ruki!"_   he gasped and pulled back to allow the other to breathe. He even loosened the grip on Ruki's hair, fully prepared to allow him to come off if he needed to.  He was still so shocked that Ruki had been able to do that, it was an incredible sensation. But Ruki surprised him.  The smaller man eagerly lunged forward and took him deep again, rythmically swallowing against his shaft, fucking himself on the flesh offered to him.  Kyo's breath quickened, the pleasure so intense he knew - god help him - he'd want to take Ruki's mouth again and again and again. Hell he'd never deny Ruki this treat ever again, unless he was really bad and in need of punishment.  And if fucking his mouth felt this amazing....

 

He forgot to be embarrassed and let moans and grunts fall from his lips like rain as his hips snapped forward to meet Ruki's lunges.  Never before had he ever actually fucked anyone's mouth in a way that was even close to real sex.  He'd always been so careful, but Ruki was... _amazing_ , able to meet his every thrust with such enthusiasm that it really did feel like real sex.  "nnnggh...Ru... gonna... "  Barely remembering that Ruki had asked to be able to taste his cum, Kyo tighted his grip in Ruki's hair and prevented himself to sliding deeper down the other's throat.  With an inarticulate scream, worthy of one of his performances he came hard, splattering his seed across Ruki's tongue and against the back of his abused and oh-so-godly throat.  His whole body jerked with spasms of pleasure as he spent himself for what seemed like minutes into the cavern of Ruki's mouth, and he didn't once try to pull away, but suckled eager at him, drawing every last drop of seed from Kyo and swallowing him down. 

 

Shakily he collapsed to sit on the bed, his hand releasing its grip on Ruki's hair, to rest upon his shoulder.  Sliding to the floor in front of Ruki, he once again captured Ruki's lips in a searing, demanding kiss.  His hands fumbled under his pillow to grab the lube and popped the cap blind.  Pulling Ruki forward he maneuvered the other until Ruki was straddling his knees, groin to groin.  His own wet, half erect shaft rubbing up against Ruki's.  He poured a generous amount of lube on his hands. Still not breaking the kiss he gripped Ruki's neglected shaft in his slicked hand and, rocking up against him and grinding their pelvises together, he hoped to give Ruki a semblence of the act he wasn't ready to perform.  His other hand snaked around behind Ruki, searching the crease for the puckered entrance that had been so badly abused only a few months before. 

 

The doctors had forbidden Ruki from anal sex, but a finger was hardly a dick, and Kyo knew that Ruki **_needed_** the stimulation, to increase the fantasy that Kyo was indeed fucking him.  And a touch, a finger, was far different from the real thing.  Kyo was amazed at how easily his finger slipped inside Ruki's entrance, how eagerly Ruki's body below seemed draw him in.  As eagerly as Ruki's throat had accepted the intrusion of his cock.  Ruki's mewled needily against him, pressing back against his finger as eagerly as he thrust against Kyo's hand in front.  He could feel the panic building up in the other's body, that headlong rush toward oblivion.  Leaning forward he bit down on Ruki's pectoral and growled the command "CUM!" The bite was harsh, not enough to draw blood, but it would leave a mark.  But it was mark easily hidden from prying eyes.

 

Ruki was dazed and a little drunk on endorphins, so thoroughly had Kyo fucked his mouth, he almost felt like he'd gotten laid.  And gloriously too.  His cock made a half-hearted attempt to assert its neglected self, but after having been so hard for so long, it was almost numb.   Ruki was pleased that Kyo had lost himself so gloriously, so loudly in his passion.  That shit just couldn't be faked, Kyo had loved the pleasure he was giving him.  And he appreciated that even in the middle of all that, he'd pulled back and prevented Ruki from taking him so deep he missed him cumming.  What shocked him most of all, though, was when Kyo started kissing him.  He'd expected that Kyo would be disgusted and wouldn't want to taste the flavor of his own seed , but he took possession of Ruki's mouth so ruthlessly that Ruki felt _owned_ , but in a good way.  His body was aching and eager for release, so he was more than happy to climb into Kyo's lap. 

 

He mewled and hummed in pleasure when Kyo encouraged him to grind out his need in the other's lap, shocked when a warm hand began stroking him with more confidence than he'd expected from a straight man.  Kyo's tongue soothed the friction sensitive areas of his mouth, while his gloriously textured palm worked steadily to catapult Ruki toward heaven.  He rocked frantically on Kyo's lap, against his hand, wanting, **_needing_** desperately his release.  When he felt Kyo's finger breach him he wailed a high keening wail of pleasure, and need, and thanks, and fulfillment into Kyo's mouth, thanking whatever gods that existed for this onslaught of pleasure that simply didn't seem to have an end.  When Kyo suddenly bit down on his chest and ordered him to cum, he'd shattered into a thousand pieces, screaming  his pleasure as loudly as his abused throat would allow.  So shattering was his release, so overwhelming to all his senses, Ruki passed out, falling limply against Kyo's shoulder. 

 

Kyo, gently removed his finger from inside Ruki, and wiped it on the carpet before reaching up and settling a hand gently against the back of Ruki's neck.  He had never seen anything,   ** _anything_ ** so mesmerizing as Ruki falling over the edge.  Never had he had a lover that came so forcefully, nor had he ever made anyone pass out from pleasure.  Every man _dreams_ of fucking their lover unconscious, and Kyo had just done so.  To a man.  No. To _RUKI,_  And without doing much more than 3rd base.  How beautiful would be his surrender, and his release if Kyo were to forgo his hesitations and become the lover and dominant Ruki needed?  Thrived under?  Cradling Ruki to him he gently undid the bonds, placing gentle kisses over Ruki's sweaty eyelids and on his wrists as he gently massaged the blood flow back into them.  Gently he maneuvered them up onto the bed, still cradling Ruki in his lap.  He was sticky with Ruki's fluids, but somehow that didn't matter. 

 

Kyo wasn't gay, but holding Ruki and remembering the pleasure they'd shared - he knew that what they had, strange as it was, was right.  Ruki wanted, needed to be dominated by someone who understood him and who he was without trying to crush his unique spirit. Kyo thought about what he wanted and needed as well.  It was one thing to want to help Ruki out, but Kyo had needs too.  Looking down at Ruki's sated body, he realized that dominating Ruki, and even pleasuring him as he had , had satisfied something within him he hadn't realized he'd been missing.  It settled some of the darkness that caused him so often to harm himself on stage.  A need to completely control something - even his own pain - without judgement.  The things they wanted and needed, they could give each other.  It wasn't going to be easy.  Kyo wasn't 100% certain he'd ever be able to be a real lover to Ruki, but he was beginning to think it wasn't as impossible as he'd once thought.  But they had 3 months in which to work things out, to see if this strange attraction lasted, 3 months to find out if Ruki would still want that from him.

 

First though, they had to face the morning.  Leaving Ruki lying on the bed Kyo went into the bathroom and wet a washcloth with warm water.  Quickly he cleaned himself off then rinsed out the cloth, taking it back to the bedroom to clean up Ruki.  As he gently wiped the sticky fluids and lube from Ruki's body he smiled at the small bruise he'd left. He hoped that Ruki wouldn't be too mad about it.  He traced a finger along Ruki's collarbone, tracing the little dip in his throat thinking Ruki would look sexy in a collar.  Perhaps, someday.  He pulled the blankets up over Ruki's sleeping form and then climbed in behind him.  He draped an arm around Ruki's waist and pulled him close so that Ruki would know even in his sleep that Kyo was still there, and that he would keep him safe. 


	5. 2nd act

Ruki floated slowly to wakefulness, feeling all snug and warm , though he ached in some strange places. His eyes fluttered open and he sighed, thinking to himself he'd had the most wonderful - albeit strange and kinky - dream of his life. But as his eyes focused, he spotted the items on the nightstand. A red shiny scarf, that looked like liquid blood, and a small bowl of something that kinda looked like ... caramel? A heated blush stained his cheeks, realizing that his last memory was of hearing Kyo's gruff command for him to "Cum" and then the next thing he knew the world shattered and he had tumbled head-first into pale oblivion. "Hole-eeee shit" he whispered out loud, as he realized that he'd passed out. _Passed-the-fuck-out!_ During sex. And it hadn't even been real sex either. He chuckled softly to himself, he hadn't thought Kyo would have it in him to be that amazing in bed.

He began to survey his body. His shoulders ached from being restrained for so long, and his throat was sore and a little raw, but in the best way as he recalled how Kyo had filled him so completely. Most men weren't equipped to rub Ruki like that, and it was always a thrill when he could find someone endowed enough that he could swallow and stroke this throat like that. He squirmed slightly remembering how good just one finger felt in his neglected ass, and then a tiny ache made itself known on his chest. He looked down and saw a small bruise just above his right nipple. It was low enough and near his armpit enough that it would easily be hid even if his shirt was unbuttoned to show off his chest. A small smile crept across his face. Oh Kyo was gonna pay for marking him.... he might even be able to garner this into another round of the "game" as Kyo called it if he played his cards right.

The arm around his waist felt nice, the weight palpable but not heavy. And that was when Ruki realized that not only was Kyo spooning him, he was nude. Squirming a little closer to that warmth he sighed as Kyo's morning wood rubbed against the crease of his ass in the most delicious way. A hot breath blasted across the nape of his neck, as the arm tightened, stilling his hips. "Don't make me pinch your unmentionables Ruki, stop moving and go back to sleep". Ruki smiled and placed his hand over Kyo's arm where it held him so securely in place. He didn't fail to notice that Kyo didn't move off either. "That's not fair Kyo. I'm gay, I haven't been laid in months and YOU'RE spooning me. naked. with a morning wood. It's perfectly natural thing to.." Strong teeth gripped the back of his neck and growls erupted from Kyo that went straight to Ruki's cock and silenced him instantly. A quick lick of a hot tongue soothed the wound and Ruki grinned - but stopped moving and let sleep pull him down again.

Ruki didn't know how long he slept after that, but when he awoke he was alone, and cold. His body missed the heat that had radiated into him from Kyo. He padded into the bathroom to brush his teeth and take a shower. It had been an amazing night, and yet he couldn't remember an exchange of presents. He hadn't really given Kyo anything, though he himself had been on the receiving end of one of the best nights of his life. It made him feel kinda guilty. He stretched in the shower and when he got out he dressed comfortably. Ruki's idea of "comfortable" was completely different from most people's. He pulled on a pair of butter-soft cream colored leather pants, and over this went a blousy shirt that was a deep royal blue with a sequined pattern on it in the shape of a red-and-black dragon. He returned to the bathroom to style his hair half-heartedly, kind of liking the just-got-out-bed-after-amazing-sex look it seemed to have. Dabbing on a bit of eyeliner he headed for living room looking for his roommate.

Kyo only half remembered his short rebuke of Ruki this morning, but he sat in the living room waiting for the other to awaken. They had alot to talk about, but no matter how much he tried to concentrate on work, his thoughts stayed focused on the bedroom and the small man who lay sleeping there. At last he heard sounds of movement from the bedroom, and thought that Ruki would immediately seek him out. He was ... a little disappointed when the other did not. The small pang of regret surprised him, yeah Ruki was becoming a fungus deeply rooted. One that would take months if not years to dislodge, and he wasn't really sure he wanted to.

Kyo watched as Ruki wandered sleepily into living-room, looking just as naturally fabulous as always. What would look like 'bed-head' on other people just seemed to add to his allure. "Did you sleep well?" Kyo asked. Ruki smiled and crossed over to him, plopping down on the couch at his feet. "You know I did. You were the cause." Ruki's said with a voice rough and gravelly. A sound produced by both sleep and sweet abuse. Ruki dipped his head and fiddled with the fringe of a blanket that was under Kyo's feet. "Neh... Kyo... I want to apologize for not getting you a present. With everything that's been going on, I didn't have time to go shopping..."

Damn but Ruki looked kind of cute when he blushed. Kyo leaned forward and used a finger to raise Ruki's head up to look at him. Making sure that they made eye contact. "You did give me a present Ruki, the best kind. You gave me your TRUST, and your submission." Now it was Kyo's turn to blush and he took his hand away, leaning back to put some distance between them.

Ruki had felt certain for a second that Kyo would kiss him, but he didn't. Still the heat from his finger lingered on Ruki's jaw and stared in shock at Kyo as the other's words sank in. The game they had played last night..... even though Ruki had finally got his wish to suck Kyo off, even though he'd been pampered and spoiled, teased and aroused.... giving that to Ruki was as satisfying for Kyo as receiving it had been for Ruki? The things that Ruki wanted and needed to get, Kyo wanted and needed to give? "wow"....Ruki whispered as the understanding of it sank into his brain.

"soo... " Ruki began, trying to formulate his thoughts. "Is that all there's ever going to be? Just ... a birthday present... once a year.?" Ruki knew, already _knew_ , he wanted more. Wanted, needed, more than just one night. Kyo watched Ruki, gauging his reactions, the inflections in his voice as he asked the question. He took a deep breath, and spoke carefully, quietly. "Not if you don't want it to be. I.... I don't know if." Kyo sat up and pulled his feet under him, looking at Ruki seriously. " I think I understand what you might need from this, but.. and.. I think I want to be the one to give it to you. But I'm not sure if I can give you ... _everything_ you need. And that kind of pisses me off. If you agree to... I mean... then I know I wouldn't want anyone else touching you."

Ruki thought about what Kyo was saying, touched that he not only wanted him, but was worried about not being able to satisfy him fully. He knew that Kyo was concerned about the sex. He still kept to the assertion that he wasn't gay and would never be able to have real sex with Ruki because of that. But Ruki remembered how aroused Kyo had gotten last night, how passionately he'd kissed him. There were seeds of possibility in that. Ruki tilted his head. "You're worried that because you aren't gay, you won't be able to become aroused enough to have sex with me, that you won't be able to 'perform' is that right?" Kyo blushed furiously but nodded his head yes. That was his main worry. He knew that Ruki enjoyed and desired anal sex. And though, somehow, last night he'd been able to bring Ruki off - he wasn't sure he'd be able be that aroused again, or that he'd be able to keep it enough to 'perform' as Ruki had put it. There was still something in him that resisted the idea of fucking Ruki's ass. It just did.

Ruki looked hard at Kyo, thinking about all the interactions they'd had these last few months they'd been room-mates, hell even bed-mates. The ONLY time Kyo had reacted to hm in anywhere NEAR a sexual manner, was when he was bound and completely at Kyo's mercy. The more Ruki let go and gave himself to Kyo, more passionate he'd seemed to become. And that seemed to be the key to it all. "I don't think you're gay." Kyo looked at him startled, "Of course I'm not". Ruki shook his head. " But a part of you thinks you might be. As much as you say, you don't think you'd be able to - ** _be_** \- everything I need in a lover and a dominant... you're still freaked out by the way you reacted to me last night. But I think you're thinking about it too hard. You're missing the obvious. When we're just sitting here talking, bullshitting around, when you're bullying me into taking my medicine or taking a nap... do you get hard? "

Kyo frowned, "No." Ruki nodded, " When I'm brushing my teeth at the sink, still nude from my shower, or walking to the kitchen for juice with my morning wood on display, does it get you hard?" Ruki asked, a small smirk on his face. Kyo made a disgusted face. " H _ell no_!". Ruki nodded. "But when I was bound, when I was trembling under your touch, when I 'submitting' to you... that got you hard. You can't deny it.." Ruki touched his lips with a smile. "mmm I can still taste that arousal, that passion." Just remembering it, made Ruki swell slightly behind his pants. "I think it's more my reactions to you, and my submission that aroused you, more than the fact that it was me. I think it could have been a woman and you'd have acted the same way."

Kyo thought about what Ruki said, and it was an incredibly intelligent insight that he wouldn't have credited Ruki as being able to see. But he shook his head, coming to a painful realization. "No, no... I've had female submissives before and i've never reacted this strongly. I think.. I think it was _because_ of you, and because you're _male_. It's ... women are naturally .... they tend to have a natural frailty to them that can be quite stunning in a submissive. But there's not as much power in dominating such fragility. Dominating you, having such strength as you possess submitting to me... " Kyo trembled at the strange feeling that coursed through him, the strange exhilaration.

"What if we try this and a few months down the road when the doctors clear you for sex, what if I still can't do what you need me to do, Ruki?" Ruki, shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know Kyo, but we'll deal with that when the time comes. I don't think it's going to be a problem. I think you'll figure it out for yourself. I think it's really a mental thing, because once you do it.... I know you'll like it. If you thought my mouth was heavenly you should try my ass. Not having sex for 6 months is bound to make me nice and tight for you..." Ruki gave him a cheeky grin, to which Kyo rolled his eyes. "Don't make me spank you..." Ruki grinned impishly, leaning over to stroke Kyo's ankle. "You keep threatening that but you never keep your promise...." Ruki got up off the couch and pulled down his pants giving his bare cheek a swat that was hard enough to pink it, "you know you want a piece of this.... and if you're good, I might let you have it... bareback too." He winked at Kyo, before pulling up his pants, his cheek now warm and tingly. Kyo called after him, "Imp" , Ruki laughed as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "Tease" he whispered.

It wasn't perfect, but it was a start. They had a lot to learn about each other, and about what they wanted and needed and how to provide that for each other. Their relationship wasn't one that was going to be easily understood by anyone. And eventually they'd have to go back to their old lives. Ruki would move back into his own apartment and they'd have to plan "dates" as it were. But Ruki already felt better than he had in perhaps years. As if finally things were making sense and weren't so out of control. Kyo had been right, he felt much better when all he had to do was react, and someone else had to make the decisions. As for Kyo, he just sat thinking for quite a while. There was a kind of roiling, dark chaos inside of him that often kept him feeling off-balance. Sometimes he'd be able to direct that dark energy outside of himself, and get it down on paper and project it into his music. Hurting himself on stage, the pain helped him to focus outside of himself onto something else. But ... dominating Ruki.... caused him to focus outside of himself in a completely different way. Being responsible for someone else's needs, their desires, being responsible for his trust... being focused on all that didn't leave much room for the chaos within to assert itself. Ruki's submission was like a counter-weight balancing all the shit out. And it fed something to that chaos, appeased it's hunger to control. Yes, if this could work out , it would be good for him. He didn't think though that he would ever, voluntarily seek to dominate another man. Ruki was unique, and perhaps he just had enough feminine in him to overcome the fact he had dick, Kyo would never know or understand his reaction to Ruki. But understanding wasn't something that he needed just then. He just needed... Ruki. and Ruki needed him.


	6. What I want is what I need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Ruki wants and what he needs is exactly what Kyo is offering. Will he accept it?

CHAPTER 6

In the next few months they learned several things about each other.  Kyo learned that Ruki thrived in the milder forms of Shibari bondage, even enjoyed wearing the less restrictive artful knots beneath his clothing.  They learned that Ruki also quite enjoyed being blindfolded and that he enjoyed having his nipples pinched hard.  Kyo came to the realization that his cock really didn't care if he was 'gay' or 'straight' - Ruki in his submission made him hard as a rock.  He knew he enjoyed kissing Ruki, enjoyed getting head and fucking Ruki's mouth with abandon, even began to enjoy the way Ruki needily fucked himself on Kyo's fingers.  Enjoyed the way Ruki felt in his lap as he rode Kyo's hand with desperate abandon.  Kyo'd been careful though not to let Ruki have more than 2 fingers no matter how much he begged. And believe me, Ruki begged.  But Kyo only told him that he wasn't going to get anything in his ass that was even _close_ to the size of a cock until his doctors cleared him for sex.

 

 

Ruki was ecstatic and horny as all fuck now that he had the clearance from the doctors to resume homosexual sexual activities, though he was warned not to be too enthusiastic about it.  They'd tried to talk him out of it all together, but Ruki had asked them if they'd be willing to just become celibate the rest of their lives, except for maybe getting head and they'd all said no, so he'd just said , "well neither am I" and he snagged his permission slip and ran on home.  Now that Ruki had the clearance all he had to do was find a way to convince Kyo to cough up the amazing sex.  Ruki had no doubts that he would eventually wear Kyo down.  Ruki had made grinding himself on Kyo's lap nearly an art form and had almost gotten Kyo's cock to slip inside him a few times only to be denied it with a stinging rebuke and a denied permission to cum.  The bastard.  Still, the discomfort was worth the feel of that hot flesh pressed to his entrance and he wanted it desperately, all that incredibly thick length of it. 

 

Ruki thought about the games they'd played, and the kinks he'd discovered in himself that had been so thoroughly satisfied under Kyo's close attention.  No other lover had ever paid as much attention, had learned as much about Ruki and what got him off as Kyo had.  Ruki didn't want to submit to anyone else.  He realized very shortly that he only wanted to belong to Kyo.  Ruki recalled how quickly Kyo became aroused when he was bound Shibari style, the ropes digging in slightly and leaving pretty designs on his skin whenever he was released. He recalled purchasing some books on Shibari and going through different designs with Kyo, deciding which ones they would try that didn't look too painful and how _good_ it had felt to be bound so snugly, as if Kyo's firm grip could be felt everywhere at once. There had been one binding though that had looked quite interesting but it had been a bit on the extreme side and they hadn't tried it.  Still Ruki had not missed the way Kyo had caressed the photo.  He knew that Kyo wanted that one, but didn't want to push him into it since it would leave Ruki extremely vulnerable. Yet that was what Ruki wanted, to be completely vulnerable to whatever Kyo wanted of him.  Ruki felt like, if he was helpless and couldn't touch or see Kyo, Kyo might be goaded into giving him what he wanted.  With that thought in mind he started to think how he might accomplish getting himself bound up for Kyo's taking. 

 

 There was only one friend he could think of that was deviant enough to be able to figure out the intricate configuration of knots it would take to have Ruki presented for Kyo they way he imagined.  And that was Miromi, fashion designer and deviant extraordinaire. Smiling he made his way over to Miromi's shop.  "Miromi, I have a challenge for you..." Ruki said as he came into the brightly colored shop.  "Whenever you say that, my heart stops.  Then again, it always turns out fabulous and I get like 20 new customers.  So... what fashion daring do are we pulling off this time?"  Miromi asked, coming out from behind the counter to pull him into a friendly hug.  "It's been far too long my friend, how are you?"  Miromi asked.

 

Ruki accepted the hug gratefully.  "I'm much better thanks, in fact I'm excellent and I'm holding in my hot little hands my permission slip to get laid.  And that's what I need your help with."   Miromi blushed.  "Darling, you know I would deny you almost nothing, but Sasha will kill me if I let anyone touch me.  I'm afraid I can't help you in that regard" Ruki laughed,  "I don't want to get laid by YOU.  I want someone else, but he's being real skittish.  I want to ... encourage him to uh.... help himself if you will.  Have you ever heard of ... _Shibari_?" Miromi laughed and pinched Ruki's nose.  "Ah! My innocent boy has discovered the wide world of kink! I'm so proud of you!  Of course I know Shibari, Sasha is a master of the art.  Why do you ask?"  Ruki grinned and pulled out the manual with the picture of the form he wanted to be suspended in.  "Do you think you could help me into this one?  I want him to find me all bound and waiting for him... "

 

Miromi looked at the picture, it would indeed leave Ruki quite deliciously bound and exposed for his lovers pleasure.  "hmm... anyone who could resist that is obviously suffering from erectile dysfunction.  It looks like it's a combination of some simpler forms, it just looks complicated because there are several in place.  I think we can do it, yeah... hmm... " Miromi studied the photo and Ruki.  "You should get you some new rope though, I just got in a huge roll of red silk braid that would look fabulous.  I'll bring it over. So when are you wanting to present yourself?"  Miromi asked. 

 

Ruki blushed.  "Well _his_ birthday was really special, a real breakthrough for us and if I get what I want then this will be a another hurdle we've overcome.  I was thinking, _my_ birthday is coming up and that maybe that would be a good time, maybe I can wheedle what I want out of him as a 'birthday present'"  Miromi smiled, "yes that sounds like a grand plan.  Okay then, you'll need to make sure he's out of the house for at least an hour though, we'll need time to get everything just perfect."  Ruki nodded. "Not a problem, I'll take care of it and text you when he's gone." 

 

Kyo must have had a feeling though that Ruki had something planned, since he wasn't bugging him about his medical waiver, and in fact Kyo had been avoiding him.  Kyo had refused to touch Ruki in a sexual manner all week and he knew it was driving Ruki nuts.  Ruki was never going to be a cowed sub that was for sure, he was always going to have spirit and that was part of the allure.  That such a spirited man could submit so sweetly to Kyo, made him feel powerful and grounded.

 

Ruki heard him when he entered the apartment, though he was greeted with silence instead of Ruki's usually talkative self who often met him at the door to see how his day had gone.  Close to the stand where he usually dropped his keys, Ruki had placed a piece of long red ribbon leading off into the distance.   It led him off toward their bedroom and Ruki knew Kyo would know that Ruki had something special planned.  Ruki was always incredibly inventive in the bedroom, they would never have to worry about it being boring even if Kyo didn't fuck Ruki the way he wanted him to. 

 

The sight that greeted him though, was one he didn't expect and which went straight to his cock.  Ruki knelt stretched out and bound on their bed.  His arms were suspended above him, his torso crisscrossed with bright red rope accenting his nipples.  Other diamonds of rope and knots encased his genitals showing his cock and balls proud and hard for his master's pleasure, bound in a cock-ring of red rope so he couldn't cum until his master allowed him to.  Ruki's knees were bound outwardly in a crouch, leaving him completely exposed to his master's taking.  A black satin scarf was tied around Ruki's eyes and as Kyo walked toward him he discerned a small mechanical hum.  Walking around him, Ruki knew Kyo would see a gift bow perched on what appeared to be a black horse tail protruding from Ruki's ass with a small medical release form attached to it. 

 

"Someone's been busy, I see."  Kyo said.  He continued to walk around the bed, watching how I Ruki flushed, squirmed, and whimpered slightly.  Ruki heard him as Kyo stripped off his clothes then walked behind him and smacked his ass hard, leaving a bright red handprint. He continued to spank Ruki until both cheeks were fired up and cries that were a mixture of pain and pleasure fell from his lips. 

 

" How **_dare_** you put yourself in this position Ruki?  Don't you know how dangerous this could have been for you?  What if I hadn't come home tonight?  What if I'd stayed out?  Do you even realize the damage you could have done to yourself leaving your genitals tied up like that for too long?  And you wouldn't have been able to call for help.  The tissues could have died from lack of blood supply and you'd have to have your dick cut off.  Is that what you wanted?"  The horrible implications of everything that could have happened, raced to through Ruki's mind and scared him almost as much as when he'd arrived broken and bleeding on Kyo's doorstep months ago. 

 

Kyo grabbed Ruki's hair and yanked his head painfully back, ignoring the pained cry that was torn from Ruki's lips.  "You do not _EVER_ bind yourself, or allow yourself to _be bound_ without my supervision.  And what the FUCK were you thinking letting someone else touch you Ruki?  Have you lost your damn mind?  No one knows you the way I do, no one knows your tolerances or how sensitive your skin is, or what places to avoid so you don't feel so much pain and discomfort you can't enjoy what's going on. You're MINE Ruki, only I am allowed to touch you, only me!" 

 

Ruki yelped when Kyo unexpectedly swatted his ass.  The smack burned, and as the blows continued to rain down, his ass fired up, burning sensitive.  But the blows also inadvertently moved the slender dildo buzzing in his ass, caused it to brush against his prostate and fuck if he  couldn't separate the pain from the pleasure as they both felt so good, and so right.  He knew that he would be punished for this.  Knew Kyo would be pissed, but he couldn't think of anything else to do.  Ruki was horrified at the thought of having to be medically castrated because he was stupidly in need of a good fuck.  No amount of great sex was worth getting ripped a new asshole and it certainly wasn't worth castration.  Ruki started to cry, realizing that his brilliant plan had gone completely wrong and that now Kyo was pissed with him.  _"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'll never ever do it again, please please please... Kyo.. Master.. Please_.." He sobbed, tears wetting the blindfold that was snugged tight about his face, denying him the pleasure of seeing Kyo's face.  Kyo was sexy enough when he was being dominant, but piss him off and it just flipped a switch in Ruki.  He loved being the sexual brunt of that fury, loved the way Kyo would frustrate him, bringing him to edge of orgasm repeatedly without letting him cum, sometimes for hours.  Blurring the lines of pleasure and pain until all he could do was give everything up and simply feel anything and everything Kyo laid upon him.  The pain was never severe, it hurt yes, but Kyo didn't mark him or make him bleed the way the others had.  The pain was always very carefully balanced with pleasure. Kyo was a master and Ruki was his instrument to be played beautifully. 

 

Ruki's tears, his sobs and his heartfelt apology must have eased some of the fury that raged inside Kyo.  At least it seemed as if some of his admonishment had been taken to heart.  He reached up and untied the blindfold, wanting Ruki to see his face.  "You are NEVER to place yourself into a dangerous situation.  NEVER.  Do you understand me? "  Ruki nodded with tear-blurred eyes.  Kyo rubbed his hands over Ruki's reddened ass, knowing that it was both soothing and uncomfortable for him, something he liked, as witnessed by the needy moan that fell from Ruki's lips.  He pulled the vibrator from Ruki's ass, relieved to find it was very slender, only about a 1 1/2 inches wide, smaller even then 2 of Kyo's fingers which Ruki greedily fucked any chance he was given that privilege.  He knew what Ruki wanted, but he wanted to hear him say it. 

 

Kyo pressed his back up against Ruki's, letting the other feel his erection as he let it slide underneath Ruki's spread cheeks.  "What do you want Ruki?  What are you begging me so sweetly for?  Forgiveness?  Or something more... What do you _need_?"  Ruki whimpered at the loss of the vibrator but moaned loudly when it was replaced by Kyo's hard hot body against his back, the other's cock so full and hot and maddeningly near where he wanted it the most.  Ruki bowed his head, praying, _praying_ , that his birthday wish would be granted.  "I need.... I need to belong to you.  I need for you to keep your promise and take care of all my needs.  I need... Please.. Please.. I need ... I need for you to take me, to fuck me, to claim me, to make me yours.  I need it so bad, please Kyo, My Master, You can do it, I know you can... _please_.. "  

 

Kyo rocked into his body, his hands roaming across Ruki's bound thighs, up his torso and up to his nipples, pinching them just the way Ruki liked, though he said nothing. When Ruki finally relaxed, albeit rocking frantically against Kyo's dick and whispering _"please please please"_ under his breath, Kyo finally moved off.  Ruki whined but didn't try to say anything else.  The bondage He'd put himself in didn't really give him very much room for movement. Kyo silently walked over and grabbed the bag that he'd brought in with him.  He walked behind Ruki so he couldn't see what Kyo was doing.  

 

Once again Kyo climbed up onto the bed behind Ruki, Pressing his chest tight against Ruki's back as he used one hand to line up his slicked cock and press it to Ruki's entrance.  "Don't move"  he ordered, the dark command in his voice instantly stilling Ruki's natural desire to press back into that desperately desired heat.  Steadying himself against Ruki's entrance without breaching that pert bud, he reached down and picked up a jewelry box.  Opening it he brought it up to within Ruki's view.  It was a gold slave collar, embedded with small black diamonds and at its center was a large black opal.  The collar even came with a small golden padlock engraved with Kyo's name on it.  "Do you know what this is, Ruki?"

 

Ruki panted with the effort of not pressing back, of denying himself the feel of that blessedly hot flesh pressed so sinfully against him.  But the sight of the collar took his breath away.  This was no cheesy leather collar that anyone could wear.  This was a work of art and as symbolic as a wedding ring.  It was gorgeous and it brought tears to Ruki's eyes, that Kyo not only wanted him, and wanted to mark Ruki as his in such a beautiful way.  It was just glamorous enough to be worn in plain sight, for not many would recognize its significance.  "I'm yours... I'm really, really yours... "  Ruki said, a bit of awe in his voice.  Kyo bit down on the back of Ruki's neck hard enough to leave a bruise.  "Yes, and if you take this, it means I **_own_** you - body, heart, and mind.  You give up everything to me.  When we're together you don't get to make any decisions without my permission and you serve without hesitation, without question.  When we're apart you will always act in a way that you know I will approve of.  You touch no one, you allow no one to touch you, and most of all you do not touch yourself unless I give you permission.  That even includes on tour, no groupies, no hand-jobs from your mates.   I'm the only one allowed to touch you sexually.  But in return for your submission, for giving yourself to me, I promise to take care of you.  I promise to meet all those needs we've discovered, and I promise to find and meet new ones.  I promise that I won't touch anyone else either.  That means you'll be responsible for meeting all of _my_ sexual needs too. But it also means this... I have never fucked anyone without a condom Ruki.  But I'm going to take you bareback tonight.  Without any barriers between us because that is my commitment to you. Do you accept my collar Ruki?  Do you give yourself to me and only to me for the rest of our lives?" 

 

Ruki knew he was young, but he'd had a lot of experience in his short life.  Nothing, _absolutely nothing and no one_ had fulfilled him or gave him peace the way he felt when they were together.  It might be abnormal, but he knew that chaining himself to Kyo was the best thing he could do in his life besides music.  "Yes, Kyo... I want this.  I need to belong to you, I'm happy and alive when I'm in your care."  Kyo undid the padlock and placed the collar around Ruki's neck, locking it in place. Then he braced his hands against Ruki's hips.  "You've been bad and you need to be punished, but you like spanking too much for that to have been an adequate punishment.  I'll say again ... do you give yourself freely to me, even knowing I will hurt you when I feel you need to be punished?  Do you trust me to punish you the way I see fit?  Do you remember your safe word? "

 

Ruki flashed back to the first night they'd played these games, the significance of the red silk scarf, the threat of blood and pain.  _"There's always going to be a chance, a threat that I'll take things too far.  It's part of what stimulates and arouses.  But you'll have to learn to trust that no matter what, I will never lose control.  That I won't forget the limits we agree to every time we play. I intend to earn that trust, and to ensure you never regret giving yourself to my hand."_ 

 

Ruki thought about that promise and realized that Kyo had never once broken it.  They'd gotten into the yellow with pain, had even found some things that were embarrassingly green like the nipple torture he still couldn't believe he craved. And though Ruki had wept and cried out, the pain was always balanced with a pleasure he didn't want to give up, Kyo played him like an instrument and had never ever taken him to red.  Had never taken him to the point he even thought he might need his safe word.  What was it anyway?  Ah, now he remembered.  "I give you everything, Kyo, even my pain.  I trust that you've learned me well enough to hurt me when I need to be hurt and trust that you'll keep your promise that I'll never need to use 'Kai'.  Punish me please, so I may be forgiven?." He asked, his plea breathy with need and regret for making Kyo so angry with him.   

 

Kyo took a deep breath and held tight to Ruki's hips, Pressing himself inside without so much as a warning or prep.  It wasn't a hard shove, but it was steady against the resistance of Ruki's body which had forgotten the sensation of being filled so fully.  Ruki's body spasmed painfully around him and he cried out in both pain and pleasure.  Pleasure to be filled so completely at last by the man he'd come to call Master, and pain to be filled and stretched so wide without prep.  Ruki panted against the pain, almost wondering if he had made a mistake, if he should utter his safe word. But Kyo stopped moving as soon as he was seated to the hilt.  He rained kisses along Ruki's neck and shoulder, his hands roamed across Ruki's chest and at last began to gently stroke his genitals.  "Shhh... shhhh... I know it hurts.  But it _has_ to...  When you lose your virginity it always hurts a little.  Your body, your mind, has to forget everyone else that has had a piece of you.  Has to learn that _only_ my body can satisfy yours.  We're starting a new life together and you've returned to a virginal state. You're mine for the taking. Mine to claim.  Mine to train.  Relax baby, _relax_... and when you're ready for me to move let me know. The lube I'm using is supposed to make anal sex more comfortable but... it doesn't do too much good without having prepped you first.  Next time, I'll prep you better.  Shhhh.... "  Kyo crooned in Ruki's ear, and the significance of what Kyo had said brought tears to his eyes.  Kyo was right, Ruki was a new man, a different and more complete man than he had ever been.  He was indeed starting fresh, and it was right that if he was to belong completely to Kyo, and if He'd returned to some symbolically virginal state, then their first union would be uncomfortable.  Yet, he trusted Kyo to turn even this pain into mind-shattering pleasure. 

 

Eventually the expertise of Kyo's hand on Ruki's cock reminded his body of the sex it had craved and been denied for the last six months.  Ruki's rectum squeezed against the hot hard flesh pressed into it, testing its mettle.  His body began to remember the pleasures that could be had when one had been filled so fully.  Yet in all his life, Ruki couldn't remember ever having a lover so well endowed as Kyo, or perhaps it was simply because it had been so long.  He finally relaxed completely, letting the ropes and Kyo's body bear his weight.  The failure to hold himself up, allowing Kyo to press just a might deeper and Ruki shivered, for the increase in depth felt good, oh so good.  "Please... please take me Kyo.  However you will, just make me yours.."  He whispered.  Yes, He wanted Kyo to move, but he didn't want to dictate how Kyo would fuck him.  He wanted this taking, this claiming to be Kyo's choice,  all that he had truly wanted was for him to be there.  Soft, slow, hard, fast... it didn't matter because Kyo was _there_ , inside of Ruki and by his own choice.   

 

 

Ruki huffed and panted as Kyo took him intimately slow.  Deep meaningful thrusts, that made him feel as if he was truly being made love to and not merely being fucked.  The pain turned to an ache as his body stretched and relaxed, becoming accustomed to the intrusion it had not experienced in so long.  The expert fist on his cock provided that perfect counterbalance of pleasure to pain that Kyo was so good at providing.  Ruki wanted to say something, wanted to ... to guide Kyo and yet, he wanted to say nothing at all. Simply wanted to give himself completely over to receive whatever Kyo felt like giving, even if it wasn't exactly what he wanted.  Kyo was new to sexual intercourse with men, and it was bound to take him a while to learn how to pleasure or frustrate Ruki completely.  With a soft mewl, Ruki trembled in Kyo's embrace, waiting for the pleasure that was sure to come and throw him over the edge.

 

Ruki felt Kyo shift his knees, widening his stance.  Then Kyo pulled out and scooted a bit further back, pulling Ruki with him, until he was stretched at a more forward angle instead of straight up and down.  Kyo reached over and grabbed a pillow, lifting Ruki's ankles which were bound to his thighs and changing the angle of his hips forward even more.  Then Kyo scooted back into position,  slathering on a bit more lube before he pressed back inside with one long stroke.  Ruki cried out sharply, this time in pleasure.  Kyo had found that magic spot.  With a soft growl of satisfaction Kyo started thrusting faster and harder into Ruki, pulling incoherent mewls and moans from his lips.  Kyo knew Ruki was close, especially after so long, and could feel him trembling.  Kyo sped his thrusts up even more as he growled in Ruki's ear.  "You don't cum yet, not until I tell you... is it everything you wanted Ruki?  How does my cock feel buried so deeply inside of you? "

 

  Kyo used his hands to undo the cock-ring of knots encasing Ruki's genitals and held Ruki's shaft firm in his grip, preventing him from cumming accidentally until Kyo was ready for him too.  Kyo snapped his hips forward almost harshly, wailing his pleasure.. " Fuck.... Ruki... CUM!"  He shouted, releasing Ruki's cock as his own shot forth spurt after endless spurt of hot seed into Ruki's channel.  Seconds later Ruki also shattered, his body clenching deliciously, almost painfully around Kyo as it milked him of every last drop of his seed. Ruki's own seed splashing upward hard enough to hit him in the face and splash up onto his shoulder. Kyo shuddered as his body spent itself inside him and then he leaned down to lick the cum from Ruki's shoulder.  Ruki was conscious but crying. 

 

"Ruki...? "  Kyo asked, sounding concerned, but he shook his head. "I'm happy, I'm just.... really happy.  It never felt so good, so amazing..."  Kyo didn't pull out from him but he reached up and unhooked Ruki's arms from the suspension.  Carefully he began to undo the knots and intricate lacings until Ruki was limp in his arms, his pale skin covered in beautifully reddened indents.  Reluctantly, Kyo pulled out so that he could finish releasing Ruki from his bondage.  Ruki winced as blood began to flow back into limbs that had been restricted for hours.  He laid back on the bed content to let Kyo care of him.  Kyo checked Ruki for injury and massaged his limbs, working the blood flow back into them.  "So ... am I forgiven now?"  Ruki asked with a soft smile, basking in the afterglow of having been gloriously fucked.

 

Kyo thought about it, Ruki had done two things tonight that both required a serious punishment.  He had placed himself in danger and he had allowed someone else to touch him.  One punishment was to be taken like a virgin without any preparation (besides the negligent vibrator) and the second would wait until after his bath.  "No, Ruki you're not forgiven yet.  You did two things that require punishment, so you'll get two chastisements.  You placed yourself in danger, and for that I didn't prep you.  But you also let someone touch you, you let them touch your cock - and that's mine alone.  Only I get to say who touches it, not even you are allowed to do that without my permission.  So that deserves another punishment.  A _tangible_ reminder of who you belong to.  But that will wait until after your bath.  I want to wash off the taint of someone else's hands on you before I finish my claim."

 

Ruki was disappointed and bit frightened when Kyo said that he wasn't yet forgiven, and yet Kyo's words made sense.  Ruki had committed two violations and each one was severe.  Kyo had promised him long ago that he _would_ get punished if he disobeyed, but that Kyo would always tell him _why_ he was being punished so he would know the mistakes he needed not to repeat. Kyo's punishments weren't always painful, sometimes it was just something that would irritate or annoy him.  Like being denied permission to cum, or being made to sleep on the couch without a blanket and far from Kyo's warm embrace.  That was actually one of his most hated punishments, for Ruki had found that he slept so wonderfully well in the other man's arms and craved the radiating heat of his body, as if he were a living furnace.  It never ceased to amaze him how hot Kyo could feel.  Ruki nodded his acceptance that he had yet one more punishment to endure, "Yes master"  He said and allowed himself to be helped into the bathroom where Kyo drew them a hot bath. 

 

Once the bath water was run Kyo got them both in, then began to wash every inch of Ruki's body with his own hands. He even made Ruki lean forward and used the bulb syringe the doctor had given them to cleanse his insides.  When Ruki was as clean as he was ever going to get, including his hair, Kyo got them out and dried them both off. "Kneel"  he said, and left Ruki kneeling and damp on the cold bathroom floor as he went back into the bedroom to fetch the delicate golden chain leash he'd purchased to go with the ornate collar.  Coming back he clipped the leash to one of the rails of the collar near the center stone and wrapped it around his fist.

 

  "God I've wanted to leash you I think since the first night you submitted to me.... you're such a pretty sight.  Look at yourself Ruki, look how beautiful you are in your submission..."  Kyo motioned to mirror for Ruki to look.  He hardly recognized himself in the mirror.  Ruki looked  healthy and flushed, his skin glowed with health, and lust, and his cock stood proud.  The gold of his collar gleamed against his throat and Kyo... gawd the man was sex and dominance and  rock-n-fuckin-roll.  Ruki looked up at Kyo smiling that his new master's cock was already 3/4 of the way to being able to fuck him again.  How amazing had it felt to feel that hot lick, that warm caress of Kyo's cum so deep inside?

 

Ruki whimpered. "Can I taste you master?  Please?  Will you fuck my mouth too?"  He asked, already rocking on his heels, his body craving the sex it had been denied for so long, and had been given but a taste of.  Kyo looked down at him, so obviously happy, so obviously needy.  Kyo placed his fingers under Ruki's chin, running his thumb over his lips and quirking a half smile when Ruki's tongue darted out eagerly fellating the digit. "If you accept your punishment fully without protest and without the benefits of restraint... then perhaps I'll let you have your treat."  Ruki nodded, though his brows furrowed.  Accepting a punishment that was going to hurt was much easier when one was bound because you couldn't do anything but accept it.  The bondage held you back and prevented you from trying to stop what you had earned.  You could pull and fight the bonds but couldn't escape the chastisement.  Having to accept whatever Kyo had planned, and to have to do it unbound would truly be a test of his submission and trust especially if the punishment was going to hurt as much as Kyo's first breaching had.  But it was a test Ruki needed to pass, both for himself and for Kyo.  Bowing his head Ruki whispered. "yes, master" waiting for Kyo to lead him wherever he wanted Ruki to be to receive his punishment so he could be forgiven.

 

Kyo ran his fingers through Ruki's hair in a caress that served to calm him.  Kyo gently tugged on the leash and led Ruki to lay down upon their bed.  Kyo knew that this was going to be difficult for Ruki, but he also knew that it was important.  This was one of those tangible memories that needed to be engraved in Ruki's mind.  Just as Ruki received the collar with the pain and pleasure of Kyo's cock, so too would Ruki receive this second mark of Kyo's possession. Kyo laid Ruki down and kissed him, possessing his mouth until Ruki was panting and rocking up against him.  Brushing the hair from Ruki's eyes he watched his face.  "Are you very sore?" He asked, and Ruki blushed, "Just a little, but I want you again, please master... take me again?" 

 

Kyo pulled the small plastic case closer to him and once again lubed up his cock with the thick medicated gel made for anal beginners.  Gently he raised Ruki's knees, caressing his thighs as he pressed himself once again to Ruki's eager entrance.  This time Kyo could feel Ruki's entrance quiver against him , eager for the invasion of his flesh.  And the needy sigh that fell from Ruki's mouth told him that Ruki welcomed a second invasion devoid of prep.  This time there was no pained cry, simply a hiss and a tight grip as Ruki held onto his arms.  " Ruki, look at me."  Ruki forced his half-hooded eyes to open and look at Kyo so gloriously above him as he was so hot and full inside of him.   "You have no bonds to hold you back, yet you must accept your punishment. However, I will allow you to hold onto me, but you are not allowed to touch yourself in any way. You cannot protest or try to prevent me from administering your punishment do you understand?"  Ruki could not imagine what Kyo had planned, could hardly think over the fact that Kyo was finally inside him again.  Ruki shook his head, nodding his understanding but the word that fell from his lips was _"Please"_.  Please fuck me, Please punish me as you will, Please forgive me.... Ruki meant them all with that one word, and Kyo understood the need in that plea. 

 

So strong willed, so spirited and yet here Ruki was trusting Kyo to hurt him, to pleasure him, to mark him and love him, to own him and to be owned by him. Kyo rolled his hips experimenting with his thrusts in this position until he was certain he had found Ruki's prostate and proceeded to abuse it well for a few minutes before he slowed down.  Panting he kissed Ruki's plush lips, whining at having been pleasured so, and brought to the edge of cumming only to be denied his orgasm once again.  Kyo leaned up, still sheathed inside of Ruki and opened the case.  "Are you ready for your punishment Ruki?"  Kyo asked, and Ruki looked up at him confused, still dazed by the awesome cock embedded in his ass. Kyo held up the heavy gold ring in his hand.  "This is your punishment Ruki, so that you will NEVER forget who owns you, who alone has the right to touch you.  I'm going to pierce your nipples, and I'm going to insert these heavy gold rings, engraved with my possession upon them.  Even should you need to remove your collar, you are never to remove these rings.  And it's going to hurt, because I'm not going to use ice or anything else to numb the pain.  But I'm going to be inside you the entire time, connected to you.  You may hold onto me if you need to, even cry out.  Let your mind feel my possession of your body, give yourself up to me.  This pain will only serve to remind you that you belong to me, and it is my right to give you both pain and .." Kyo thrust his hips sharply against Ruki's prostate.." And unrelenting pleasure" 

 

Ruki arched into Kyo's thrust and cried out with pleasure. _Fuck me_ , but the idea of the piercings didn't frighten Ruki as much as he was certain Kyo thought it might.  No, Ruki liked having his nipples pinched hard, the pain there, no matter how sharp, was always green.  Something about it went straight to his cock and made his hole clench.  Ruki imagined that pain to his nipples must somewhat equate to a woman's clit.  No, Ruki wanted the piercings, wanted them as much as he wanted Kyo's cock hilt-deep in his ass.  "fuck yes... do it.. please.. do it..."  Ruki begged, as he gripped Kyo's arms tight as he squirmed needily beneath him.

 

Kyo leaned down to suckle on one nub allowing his hips to return to a slow deep fuck.  When the nub was prominent under his tongue he grabbed the open tipped forceps and clamped a good amount of the areola and nipple erect in the clamp then opened a sanitizing packet and cleansed the flesh of his saliva.  He wanted to pierce Ruki's nipples not give him an infection.  Taking out the sterile surgical guide needle he took a moment to observe Ruki.  Ruki's eyes were hooded, and he was licking and chewing on his bottom lip.  Ruki's hands gripped Kyo's forearms tightly but flexed slightly with each inward thrust of Kyo's hips.  He shifted on his knees settled himself to where he could use both hands steadily while continuing to thrust inside of Ruki.  Bending down he pressed the sharp needle through firm but yielding flesh.  Ruki cried out and arched sharply beneath him and his body clenching tight around Kyo's cock, a generous amount of pre-cum come gushing from Ruki's cock.  "Ruki.... don't you dare cum.  If you have to hold yourself tight, do it, but you are not allowed to cum until I give the command."  Ruki panted and whined and moved one of his hands to grip himself hard at the base.    Quickly Kyo removed the clamp and then threaded the heavy gold engraved hoop through Ruki's nipple.  It looked glorious and the weight was palpable.  Just bad-ass and kinky enough to make his fans go nuts imaging all the kinky shit piercings brought to mind.  Kyo sped up his strokes while he tugged on the new piercing pulling the abused nub taught.  Such pleasured cries fell from Ruki, combined with the feel Ruki's body clenching tight around his cock that Ruki knew Kyo knew he'd orgasmed though Ruki's death grip on his cock had prevented him from visibly disobeying. Ruki shuddered under him, dazed by so much pleasure-pain that he couldn't help but shatter beneath it.  

 

Kyo clamped the other nipple and Ruki had to switch hands in order to give him room to move. Ruki had his head thrown back and was chanting "fuck fuck fuckity fuck oh oh oh fuck fuckity fuck... "  And Kyo knew his little flowing Ruki of passion was beyond lost.  This time he didn't push the needle in quickly but pushed it in slowly taking a good 30 seconds to get it through the flesh, and my god... Ruki screamed and arched beneath him, Ruki's body spasming hard about him as Ruki about strangled his poor dick in an effort not to let slip his cum , so intense was the pleasure/pain that shot through him.  Hell, Kyo had made him climax at least twice in as many minutes and Ruki was shocked he was still conscious. Kyo removed the clamp and quickly threaded the last gold hoop, then removed Ruki's hand from his strangled dick.  He started fucking Ruki hard, as hard as he could take it. Ruki's legs wrapped around Kyo's body, and Ruki bucked trying to keep up with him as he shouted " yes, yes, oh GOD YES!" Tears blurred Ruki's vision as he strained not to cum yet again from Kyo's harshly perfect thrusts.  Kyoreached between them and tugged on Ruki's newly pierced nipples with a harsh command to "CUM"  and Ruki did. Ruki arched and screamed his release, once again clenching Kyo tightly, the sight of Ruki's beautiful surrender enough to throw Kyo over the edge as well.  Kyo held himself there, trembling as he once again filled Ruki with his hot seed. 

 

With Ruki's eyes hooded, face flushed with passion, lips swollen from where he'd chewed on them in nervousness and pleasure, Ruki once again passed out. He wondered if this was going to be a common thing with them, and how often would Kyo be able to fuck him unconscious?  And wouldn't that just be something for them to brag about to anyone who tried to say shit about their life?  _"So, can you say you've ever had a lover good enough to fuck you into oblivion?  Kyo can... so fuck off"_   Ruki was looking forward to that.  There was no longer any need to doubt that Kyo could be the lover he needed, the Master he craved and thrived under.  Ruki was Kyo's pet, his slave... but Kyo was just as much Ruki's as Ruki was his.  What Ruki had wanted and needed in his life was the perfect dominance Kyo offered, and what Kyo needed and wanted was the perfect submission Ruki gave.

 

 


End file.
